


Like or Like Like

by amirmitchell



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/F, F/M, missy and maya centric tho like its a hartford fic dont be fooled
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:39:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 38,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7089319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amirmitchell/pseuds/amirmitchell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts like this: a blonde, a brunette, and a box of 120 crayons that Billy Ross rips the sharpener out of. But, she supposes, all great rivalries have some sort of wild origin story to explain the bitter air that surrounds them - what would make her and Missy’s any different?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. too much time together

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bluesey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesey/gifts).



> ok so i wrote this bc of a post on tumblr i saw about the difference between infatuation and love which maya discovers throughout all three chapters so!!!! also bc i love missy and her and maya could've been great but mostly for the infatuation/love thing  
> also title is from like or like like by miniature tigers but my bomb friend clare made me the best hartford playlist in this universe ft songs from my bday present from inna so !!!! https://open.spotify.com/user/completelycreative/playlist/0yBpneDZAr5hjvibrjDUwV this is the best thing you'll ever listen to basically  
> and shoutout to lola who this is dedicated to and who is basically the love of my life this one's 4 u

**_Preschool_ **

It starts like this: a blonde, a brunette, and a box of 120 crayons that Billy Ross rips the sharpener out of. But, she supposes, all great rivalries have some sort of wild origin story to explain the bitter air that surrounds them - what would make her and Missy’s any different?

They're four years old, in Mrs. Page's class, when it happens. There's Maya, coloring a butterfly for their art assignment with a handful of sparkly crayons, the ones that glitter in the light, the ones that she doesn't have in her own box at home. And there's Missy Bradford, marching over to her, determination set in her eyes as she steals those crayons so that her own butterfly can shimmer just as brightly as the locket her daddy had gotten for her on her birthday. 

It begins with a blonde, a brunette, and a box of crayons- but it ends with glittery wax crumbling under the heel of Missy's shoe, Maya’s chair flying right towards that jerkface’s ugly leg, and two preschoolers sitting in time out because Maya tried to practically strangle Missy by the chain around her neck.

xxxx

An unfortunate substitute makes the mistake of placing them next to each other one day in late October. Billy tries to warn him that Missy and Maya  _ cannot  _ be seated within ten feet of one another at any point during the day, but there’s a firefighter coming in to teach them all about what to do during an emergency, meaning that the two other teachers they share the hall with all needed to be crammed into their classroom with about thirty more kids than they were used to for the presentation, and so he decides to sit the kids by alphabetical order using first names. It's easiest with the sticky tags that they wear on their shirts for temp days so that they can be identified easily, and it places Maya directly next to Missy which is just about the dumbest thing that he could do because they're fighting before the guest even makes it to the classroom. 

Maya slips in a comment about Missy’s shoes being stupid, teasing her for the gems on the side and the pink laces that curled and everything else she could pluck fun at. 

“At least mine aren't covered in paint and my laces aren't knotted,” Missy bites back, her brows furrowed when Maya slams the tip of her converse into the back of her calf. 

“At least I won't have an ugly bruise on my leg tomorrow,” the tinier girl gloats, leaning back into her seat once her kick was delivered. 

“Oh yeah? Guess again,” Missy snaps, rising to shove Maya as hard as she can off of her seat. 

They’re wrestling on the ground by the time anyone in the room can blink twice, and Billy wastes no time in patting his sub’s arm and muttering a knowing, “I told you so.” 

xxxx

Missy and Maya’s moms meet and immediately click during the second open house of that school year, a sort of conference meets art showcase of everything the kids had made so far type of event. (Katy couldn't make it to the first one, so Maya’s dad went in place but didn't manage to get any of the information. He didn't even go to the right classroom.)

Maya doesn't think there's anything worse in this world than her mom making a new friend, especially considering this new friend is a  _ confirmed _ relative of  _ Satan _ thanks to her daughter’s actions. 

“But,  _ Mom _ ,” Maya pleas, “I can just stay here until Dad gets back, I don't need to go see Missy  _ Brat _ ford in her lair of evil and stupid, frilly skirts.” She crosses her arms across her chest with a huff as her mother smooths down the skirt of the dress she forced her daughter into. 

“C’mon, Babygirl, that's enough. Cassie is a very nice woman and has been sweet enough to invite us for dinner.” She leaves out that she's not sure exactly when Maya’s father will be returning, if even he is after their most recent fight, and shakes her head at Maya’s pout. “We’re going and that is it.” 

That is most certainly  _ not _ it to the tiny girl, but, despite vicious protest, Katy physically drags Maya to the porch of Cassandra and Nathaniel Bradford’s home about fifteen minutes later, making her daughter carry the banana pudding she’d made for dessert as punishment for her sour attitude. 

Maya hopes that there won't be some sort of portal to the realm of the undead when the door opens a few seconds later. 

xxxx

Dinner at the Bradford’s becomes a regular occurrence, though Maya’s attitude on the entire scene changes after that very first night. Missy’s parents actually end up being really cool, much to Maya’s surprise. Her dad is a paleontologist that actually travels to canyons and far off islands to dig for dinosaurs just like in  _ Jurassic Park _ , and her mom owns a diner called  _ Cassie’s  _ in the center of town that is a star on the map of their tiny suburb. She even promises Maya a free milkshake if she ever wants to stop by with her parents- though the Hart patriarch has yet to make an appearance. She hasn't really seen him since dinner like two or three nights ago, but it slips from her young mind when Mr. Bradford pulls out more pictures from his trip to the jungles in Asia to seek out ancient creatures from that part of Earth. 

Plus, it gives her bonus time to mess with Missy because after dessert, their moms  _ always  _ insist that the girls go and play in Missy’s bedroom until it's time to leave. 

xxxx

Maya likes the days that she spends with her dad. He always takes her out after she gets caught between the crossfires of a big fight, but she doesn't mind. She just likes alone time with him because she doesn't get that a lot after he flees for her Uncle Michael’s couch as soon as her mom raises her voice. 

The aquarium is the favorite place that her dad takes her, she thinks. He always buys her a stuffed animal from the gift shop near the jellyfish, and her collection is getting so big that a few of her plushies fall off her bed overnight when she tosses. 

She would give them up to have him home a little more, but they give her soft hugs without the smell that lingers in her daddy’s breath that makes her scrunch her nose and they never yell so loud that the walls shake, so she thinks that it's an okay compromise. 

  
  


**_Elementary School_ **

Once they reach kindergarten, it only gets worse. 

It's in Mr. Samuel’s afternoon class that they're introduced to organized sports- Red Rover, of all things. Maya shoots like a rocket as powerfully as she can between Missy and Charlie Gardner, ramming with the intention to tear limbs. 

(She ends up only hurting Charlie, offering the Reese's in her snack box as collateral for the bruise on his forearm after being knocked over, and this is how she meets her best friend.) 

Because of the liability of broken limbs on school property, Maya isn't allowed to participate in Red Rover for the rest of the year, and each time it is announced that they’ll be playing it, Missy sends her the most obnoxious and the most infuriating grin she's ever seen.

xxxx

Sometimes Maya likes to climb out of her window when her parents argue. She sits on the patch of rooftop laid outside of her bedroom window with the Sesame Street notepad she got in her goodie bag from Darby’s birthday last month, and she draws the sun setting in the sky and the people walking down below and little squiggly lines that represent the deafening bustle of traffic she wishes would appear so that it can drown out her mother’s cries. 

xxxx

“Well, I will have you know, Bratford, me and Sandy were-”

“Maya, stop calling my mom Sandy. Her name is Cassie. It's why her diner is  _ called Cassie’s!” _

“ _ Anyways _ , me and Sandy were talking the other night…” 

xxxx

She runs out of room for plushies in the first grade, and so her gift upgrades to a charm bracelet. 

Empty links dangle from her wrist that September, and they're the most shiny and beautiful links she's ever seen in her life. 

(They're hidden beneath exactly seventeen charms by summer break, but they still shine if you look very closely.) 

xxxx

Charlie’s mom is a cop, and so Maya loves playing at his house because she always sees the pepper spray and the belt that holds her ticket book and and the  _ real _ police handcuffs that get used on  _ real  _ bad guys and it's the coolest stuff she's ever seen in all her eight years on Earth. Charlie teases her that she's only his best friend for his mom, and Maya shameless agrees, smiling as wide as she can when she hears Mrs.Gardner laughing from the kitchen. 

Charlie’s parents are divorced because they didn't get along well as a married couple, and they split up before he was even one so all he really knows is seeing his dad every other weekend and spending bundles of weeks in the summer with him, but Maya met him a few times and he's really funny and he has a long mustache that reminds Maya of the bad guy in  _ Meet the Robinsons _ . He also speaks certain words in Italian because his parents were born in Sicily. (She isn't really one for school, but she doesn't mind the language lessons that she gets between drinking sodas outside the ice cream shop and big pasta dinners with her best friend, his dad, and his stepmom.)

Maya asks if it's bad having parents that aren't together or weird having two moms, and Charlie replies that he loves Sheila, so no, and that he likes that he has two Christmases every year. 

Maya wonders if her parents would be better as friends and not a married couple when she waits for Mrs.Gardner to take her home sometimes, but she ultimately doesn't want two Christmases. She just wants her dad home every night and her mother not to cry so much. 

xxxx

Missy is in her class  _ again  _ in the second grade, and she has to pretend to be excited about it because her mom is really eager to chaperone field trips with Sandy. It's tricky- it's  _ really  _ tricky- but she manages to paste on a grin when they go spend  _ another  _ dinner with the Bradfords and Sandy asks if she likes having Missy as a classmate. 

xxxx

There's a new girl named Isadora that joins their class in October of that year from New Jersey, and, to her misfortune, she's seated right between Missy and Maya. There's an unspoken choice that she obviously has to make between the two when they are asked to partner up with  _ deskmates _ \- otherwise Maya would be darting across the room to Charlie- and she doesn't know what's she's getting into by the time both girls start hounding her to be their partner.

Missy tries to hug her as some sort of welcome to the school, and Isadora is screaming at the top of her lungs about not liking being touched within minutes of being in her new setting, shooting up and running straight to the halls so that she can scrub the feeling of contact off her skin in the girls’ bathroom, and Maya scoffs at how poor Missy is at making friends. 

“Way to go, Bratford, you managed to scare off yet another possible friend.” 

“Are you kidding, Maya? It was  _ obviously  _ an excuse to get away from you! I was a scapegoat.”

“Who even uses the word scapegoat?” 

“ _ Who even uses the word scapegoat?”  _ Missy ends up mocking before the teacher marches up to their desks with an angry look on her face. 

(They're forced to be partners, and Maya decides she doesn't like Isadora very much.)

xxxx

Missy and Isadora, Maya’s most disliked people on this entire planet, end up being best friends, and Maya thinks that it just goes to show you that the annoying kids must have to stick together in order to survive because no one would ever  _ willingly _ be Missy Bradford’s best friend. 

xxxx

Maya’s dad buys her an art set for Christmas when she's nine, the only condition being that she has to paint him the world how she sees it. 

When she hands him a sheet covered in withering walls and tears filling their home so high that she's drowning, it's still wet. He doesn't hang it on the fridge, and he stays out extra late that night. 

(When she wakes up the next morning, there's a charm of a paintbrush tucked under her pillow.)

xxxx

In the third grade, Maya trips Missy in the hallway one morning on their way to library, and that afternoon the brunette uses her ugly yellow flats to launch Maya off the swingset and onto her right forearm, snapping it like a twig. 

Missy laughs because Maya cries, and Maya laughs because Missy’s mom makes her help Maya do things until she gets her cast off. 

xxxx

When Maya is ten, she runs out of absolutely any extra room on her bracelet. She starts keeping her charms on a chain she has from a dog tag that she snatched from the subway station’s lost and found when her dad took her with to see a friend in the city, but she wasn't allowed to actually go with when he rushed up the stairs with a bundle of money stashed in his coat, so she hung around the little newsstand and a man playing a bucket like a drum.

She has at least twenty six charms. She stopped counting after that. 

xxxx

Maya doesn't mean for it to go as far as it does when she forces Missy into cutting six inches of her hair to form a bob around her face when they're in the fourth grade.

It all just goes downhill when Missy passes out Blow Pops as her birthday treat- the stupidest idea ever considering Cosmic Brownies are  _ obviously  _ the best choice- and then she gives Maya a grape one just to spite her because she  _ knows  _ that grape is Maya’s absolute least flavor of anything,  _ especially  _ sweets. 

It irritates her to no end because Missy is sure to give her one last, meaning no other flavors to switch with, and Charlie actually likes grape so he chose the sucker in the very same nasty flavor when Missy passed him so Maya couldn't even trade for it- yet another jerk move by Bratford and all her evil glory! 

Given that she wouldn't properly appreciate the candy, Maya only thought it would be fair that she return the revolting thing to its rightful owner. 

The fact that she returned it after grudgingly chomping her way to the center in order to smear her soggy gum into the ends of Missy Bradford’s intricately curled hair being a minor detail with little relevance, in her opinion, when describing the master scheme of Missy’s special day. 

(The fact that picture day just happened to be a week from the incident? Pure luck.)

xxxx

Her dad leaves for good exactly a week before her fifth grade promotion ceremony.

She expects him to come back after three days, that usually being the cap of his stays from their place, but he doesn't, and she doesn't know that it's for good when it happens. But when she searches the crowd wearing her prettiest dress to get her certificate prompting her to middle school and doesn't see his face, her charms brand scars into her heart as they hang around her neck, and her wrist burns like the tears in her eyes when she rips up the paper graduation cap she'd made in class. 

xxxx

They're at the Bradford’s when her mom lets it slip: divorce papers are in the works. Missy’s dad is in Guatemala and so they're having a “girls’ night” because Maya has been so down lately, but Katy doesn't realize that she's standing in the doorway when she informs Sandy that he has no intentions of returning between big gulps of wine and bittersweet sighs. 

When she finds out, she runs to the bathroom and locks herself in it because she doesn't want Missy to see her crying. There's a slam and a scream and the soft clatter of charms scattering the tile floor, and, just like that, Maya doesn't have a dad. 

xxxx

Charlie tells her that it might be for the best when he finds out because her parents fought and sometimes she’d wake up with her mom asleep on the floor of her room, red marks scattering her biceps and wrists. He even says that Maya can have one of his Christmases- he doesn't need both- and it'll all be okay. 

He thinks that they're going to do just fine, taking on the world together, and she wholeheartedly believes him. Everything happens for a reason, and he just might be the only guy she needs in her life.

  
  


**_Middle School_ **

Maya ends up moving the summer before sixth grade, her mom having to downsize them a bit to ease up the cost of rent each month. She tries to be excited as possible because she lives even closer to Charlie now and the middle school she's going to attend is not the same as Missy, finally giving her a break from the girl that's been a pain in her neck since preschool. 

Yeah, she misses her old room, and, sure, the neighborhood they ended up in isn't the  _ greatest _ , but pressing her dresser against the cracks in her walls to hide them, she thinks it's gonna be okay. 

(She prays it's gonna be okay.) 

xxxx

Her mom convinces her to be a cheerleader. Missy’s already made the squad at her school, and the girls’ parents think that it would just be the cutest thing in the world to have two little cheerleaders to watch when their teams face each other. 

Maya accepts because she’s being  _ handed _ an opportunity to beat Missy, and she wants nothing more in the world than to crush every ounce of pep in the brunette’s lanky body. 

xxxx

As it turns out, Maya makes a pretty damn good cheerleader. She even convinced Charlie into making the football team so that they're  _ both _ required at sporting events, and she cheers extra loud for him when he's running around the field.

xxxx

Sandy takes Maya on vacation along with Missy during their first spring break as middle schoolers-her mom was invited, but couldn't get out of work- and they go to the Dells because Wisconsin is on the list of states that Maya wants to travel to and sketch a scene from. (She has all fifty on the list, but Sandy’s gesture is still very much appreciated.) 

The thing about the Dells is that it's a waterpark, which means bathing suits are involved, and it's not that Maya didn't notice that Missy had started growing- because she  _ had _ \- it's just that she hadn't seen Missy in a bikini ever in her entire life and she’s never felt the type of way she does staring at her arch nemesis's exposed skin, and frankly, she doesn't think that it's fair. Maya can barely fill out the top of her two piece whilst Missy had to buy an entirely new swimsuit just to fit her body, and her skin looks so smooth and her smile seems amazingly bright in contrast to her tan complexion and the magenta fabric covering her.

She just  _ knows  _ it's not fair. 

xxxx

“Charlie, do you ever feel weird seeing me in a bathing suit?” Maya asks, hanging off the edge of his mattress by the back of her bent knees. 

“What do you mean?” His eyebrows bunch together as he lowers himself down to dangle beside her. 

“Well, like, do you ever see me in a bathing suit and feel… I don't know, weird? We go swimming like all the time. Do you ever see me in a bikini and feel like your throat is gonna close up and like you just ate sushi and like life just isn't fair?” 

“Well, no. But that sounds an awful lot like the talk my dad had with me about the  _ birds and the bees  _ and stuff and how sometimes I'm gonna look at a girl and there's just gonna be new feelings all over about like  _ sex _ and like- y'know stuff  _ down there _ \- and all of that. M, it was really awkward. I'm not really looking forward to it. Why?” 

“Wait-” Maya flips off the mattress, landing on his carpet with a thud, “That's how you're supposed to feel when you like wanna do the do with someone?!” 

“According to Papa Gardner it is-”

“Charlie!” Maya squeaks with wide eyes, “I felt that way looking at  **_Missy_ ** .” 

There's a simultaneous wail of disgust before Maya’s entire face contorts in absolute repulsion, an entire scene playing out of her heaving over the garbage can next to Charlie’s desk before she reports that his father was wrong, wrong,  _ wrong _ . 

xxxx

“Dude, what if you wanna do the do with Miss- Ow! What the heck, Maya?” 

“If you ever say anything in the  _ realm _ of that sentence again, I'll rip off your arm.” 

xxxx

Maya makes a playlist of all the songs that make her angry and she listens to it every single time her and Missy go swimming together. She has tanlines running along her neck from her headphones, and when Missy makes fun of them, she turns it up louder. 

xxxx

By the time seventh grade rolls around, Maya is at the top of her squad. The middle school cheer scene isn't  _ too _ hardcore, but her coach lets it slip that she's being conditioned to be captain in high school, and she can't wait to rub it in Missy’s face that she's already on her way to being a  _ head cheerleader _ . It’s enough to make her forget all about the stupid bikini thing because she's a better cheerleader than Missy- and who would want to do the do with a  _ subpar  _ cheerleader? Not her,  _ obviously _ . 

xxxx

There's a football player with pretty eyes that she likes to tease during the games. He has a thick accent because he's fresh off of a train from Texas, and they develop a sort of game between her nicknames and his charming responses. 

Charlie says that he likes her- he heard him talking about it in the gym class that they share- and Missy always looks super irritated when she sees them together because Maya’s only focused on player 29, not their rivalry, and so Maya makes sure to stand  _ extra _ close to him during those games. 

xxxx

Maya and her mom are at the grocery story when they meet Shawn Hunter, a 2 am run after Katy’s Thursday shift bringing them to the 24 hour market a few blocks from their apartment. Maya’s grabbing four bags of Cheetos, her stock for game night with Charlie, and when she makes it back to the cart, her mom is blushing towards some guy with a beard and Maya’s loading in her snacks. 

“So, who's tall, hairy, and possibly homeless?” Maya opens with, a grin breaking out when her mom’s eyes go wide. 

“ _ Maya Penelope-”  _

The man breaks the scold at the tip of Katy’s tongue with a chuckle. 

“You got something to say, creepozoid, or am I gonna have to scream for the cops?” Maya glares, her ears burning red. 

“Nothing, Miss Maya  _ Penelope _ ,” he tugs, her entire cheeks bursting to crimson when he says her middle name again. 

“Listen here, bucko, I don't know what your deal is, but you got about ten seconds to take that back or I'm gonna be engraving your headstone  _ myself.  _ Here lies- hey, what's your name?”

“Shawn. Shawn Patrick Hunter.” 

Maya bursts into a fit of giggles when he shares, “Oh boy, you were laughin’ at Penelope with a name like  _ Patrick _ ?! Ma, this dude’s hysterical.” She turns to see an unreadable look on her mother’s face, some cross between amused and terrified that she would ask about later. 

“Yeah, yeah, have your little chuckle fest,  _ Penny _ . I'm gonna get you back whenever your mom answers me about dinner.”

Maya lets out a soft snort. “Okay, whatever you say,  _ Patty _ . Ma, say yes so I can own his loser as-” Shawn thankfully nudges her before she gets the cuss out, “-butt. So I can own his loser butt. Please.  _ Ma'am _ .”

She innocently smiles when Shawn rapidly nods his head with a sarcastic grin. “Yeah, what she said. I want to get my loser  _ butt  _ owned.” 

xxxx

“So, who's the football player?” Missy asks her one night after dinner, their mothers sending them to play in Missy’s room the very same way they have since they were kindergarteners.

“What's it to you?” Maya quirks an eyebrow, noticing the edge in Missy’s voice when she asks. 

“Just curious. I mean, it's no wonder your squad isn't as strong as mine with their captain hanging all over a boy the entire game.” She picks at her nails, spitting out her words nonchalantly. 

Maya’s body tenses at the jab, her teeth clenching when she replies. “Well, not that it concerns you, but his name is Lucas, and he's our  _ star _ player.”

“That's surprising,” Missy bites condescendingly, “Considering he spends all of his time chattering away with you like the game doesn’t matter. Sounds  _ just  _ like a Salk move. No wonder we won.” 

Maya rolls her eyes at the dumb rivalry that splits their sides of town apart, even though the Jonas E. Salk Blue Jays are  _ obviously  _ better than Missy and her dumb Warriors over at Polk, and let's out a scoff. “I don't have time for your childish games right now. I'm meeting up with Lucas in the morning to work on our science homework- wouldn't want to be out too late.” She doesn't even turn back to say goodbye before heading to find her mom. 

xxxx

Maya and Lucas become the  _ it _ couple of Jonas E. Salk Middle School within two weeks of her encounter with Missy- though all that really consists of a relationship when you're barely an eighth grader is holding hands and he carries her things around sometimes when she doesn't want to. 

Charlie even likes him, which is definitely a plus because Maya loves her best friend and her boyfriend getting along, and so they start having game nights together every Friday. They pull out dusty board games and huddle around Maya’s tiny coffee table to play. Sometimes Shawn even sits in as a fourth player if he's over (he and Katy are now a  _ thing _ ), but Maya thinks he's only there to steal Cheetos and team up against her with Lucas to try and make her lose- but her mom loves him or whatever and he took her shopping last weekend so she  _ supposes  _ she can let it slide. 

xxxx

“So, have you kissed the blockhead yet?” Missy wonders from beside Maya on the bed, both of them tucked tightly under her comforter nearing two in the morning. 

Katy and Shawn are away their first trip together- a cute weekend away in some bed and breakfast near his hometown in Pennsylvania- and Katy told Maya that she was going to be staying with Sandy before she could even suggest Charlie’s guest room; hence the sharing a bed with Missy Bratford and her nosy questions. 

“Why would I tell you if I've kissed my  _ boyfriend _ yet or not?” Maya huffs, crossing her arms beneath the blanket. 

“Oh, so he's your boyfriend now?” 

There's something in Missy’s tone that makes her feel small, but she tries to brag regardless. “Mhm, has been for three weeks.” 

“I bet you haven't even kissed him yet.  _ I've  _ already kissed a boy.”

“Oh, yeah?” Maya snorts, “Sure, like anyone would lower their standards enough to kiss you.” 

“At least I know  _ how _ to kiss,” Missy snaps, a small smirk tugging at her lips when she sees Maya getting more and more riled up. 

“I know how to kiss!” Maya snaps, sitting up to face her with flushed cheeks. 

“Do not,” Missy argues, rising to mirror Maya’s position. 

“Do too!” 

“Do  _ not _ !” 

And Maya, as pent up as she is, just leans in and crashes their lips together because she  _ does too _ know how to kiss, and now Missy can't say anything about it. 

By the time she realizes what she's done, she pulls away panting. Her flushed cheeks burn and she avoids eye contact before lying back down and wordlessly curling to her side away from Missy. A little sigh of relief escapes her when she feels Missy tug on the blankets a bit to get comfortable, her body flat again.

“...Maya?” Missy admits in a small voice. “I've never kissed anyone. I don't know why I said that I did.” 

Maya keeps her back to Missy, gnawing on her bottom lip while trying to form a response. “Well, now you have,” she attempts weakly, her anxiety audible in her shaky words. She inhales sharply before flipping, her eyes going wide when she finds Missy staring in her direction. “...Missy?” The brunette nods a little bit. “I don't know how to kiss. I don't know why I said that I did.” 

Silently, Missy reaches out her hand and laces her fingers with Maya’s, resting their joined hands between them with a tiny, nervous smile. “Well, now you do.”

xxxx

Maya doesn't tell Lucas about the kiss, only Charlie, and she panics at the slightest chance that her cowboy could find out. 

“You and Missy seem to be getting along better,” Lucas chuckles at her during half time one night, her entire face going pale at even the mention of the other girl. 

“I, uh,” she stammers, “What do you mean?”

“Well, you haven't called her  _ Brat _ ford yet, and you haven't threatened to shove your pom pom down her throat, either.” 

“Oh,” Maya laughs shakily, “Right. Must just be an off night or something.” 

_ Or something _ , she repeats to herself, glancing across the field to steal a glimpse of the girl on her mind. 

xxxx

They don't discuss the kiss. Whenever they're together, their actions are just more calculated, doing everything they can to make sure not to touch in any possible way when the Hart family is over. 

It's a system, sort of, and Maya just hopes they'll manage to keep it up for the rest of their lives. 

xxxx

“Charlie, I kissed Missy.” 

“I told you that you wanted to do the d- Ow, Maya! What the hell?!” 

“ _ Ripping  _ **_limbs_ ** , Gardner.” 

xxxx

When Lucas kisses her outside her front door, he asks if it was her first and her smile doesn't reach her eyes when she says yes. 

xxxx

There's a plane crash when they're thirteen that takes the life of Nathaniel Bradford, and Missy is so torn up about it that she can't even get out of bed. Her body struggles with the exhaustion of heavy sobbing during every conscious moment she has, and so Maya sits beside her limp body and rubs small circles on her back while her mother consoles Sandy after the funeral.

Maya can't really blame her for wanting to stay in bed after watching her father be buried, so she just brings her dinner and sets it on her nightstand, running a hand through her hair and quietly climbing over her to lay down. Missy moves her fingertips to trace the lace trimming of Maya’s black dress, pink blotches covering her tear stained face. 

“They used to fight a lot,” she practically croaks, her voice adjusting from not being used since before her father died, “My parents did. Every time he was here, they were fighting. That's why he took so many jobs, why he always brought me back all these souvenirs.” She bitterly chuckles, her eyes wandering to the shelves of her room filled with amazing artifacts from exotic islands. 

Maya stares at her, puzzled a bit by the thought of Missy’s parents ever fighting. They always seemed so… put together. Yeah, he was gone a lot, but Maya was in their home weekly for dinner and never once saw them speak in anything less than adoring tones. 

“They refused to fight around others. They would act like it didn't happen whenever you were here, and I hated it. I hated how fake it all felt.” Missy's gaze lands back on Maya, her pout turning into a full on frown. “They fought so much, and I wished so much for him to just… be gone. My mom told me about how your parents argued and your dad just left, and I would wish for him to just go on a trip one day and never come back for how loudly he yelled at her.” 

Maya’s confusion shifts to defense when she hears her own parents mentioned. 

“I wanted him to just not want me anymore like yours did.” 

“Your father loved you,” Maya bites between gritted teeth, sitting up to stare coldly at the girl saying such ridiculous things. “Why would you wish for him not to do that anymore? Missy, your dad died on his way  _ home to you _ \- how could you even compare that to… Being abandoned isn't a privilege.” 

“At least your dad chose to leave you.” 

Maya couldn't believe what she was hearing- she couldn't believe that Missy would see one of the worst moments in her life as some sort of gift. She was absolutely heartbroken, and Missy practically tells her that she begged for such pain. 

“At least your dad chose to stay,” Maya spits out, climbing from the mattress and storming for the door. 

“Maya, where are you-”

“I can't believe you don't see how lucky you were. I can't believe you'd have the nerve to compare my situation like I got some type of miracle by having my heart crushed by someone I saw as a hero. Jesus Christ, I  _ loathe  _ you.” With her lungs emptied, she slams the door behind her and heads for the couch, already feeling the prick of tears in her eyes. 

She doesn't think avoiding contact with Missy is gonna be as big of an issue as she originally intended. 

xxxx

The summer following her last year in middle school, Shawn decides to take her and Charlie to Tampa where he's photographing a few resorts for his advertising agency. It's a big bonding thing to be going without Katy, and Maya’s super excited for all the pictures she's going to have to fill their albums with. (They use them a lot more after Shawn recently moving in.) 

“So, are you guys excited for high school or what?” Shawn asks them, his arm loosely around Maya’s shoulder while hers is linked with Charlie’s. 

“Or what,” Charlie snorts, rolling his eyes at the concept. “I don't understand why we can't just stay in middle school forever. I can learn everything I need to know from those people. I can balance science equations perfectly fine- high school is absolutely ludicrous. It's insane, I tell ya! Completely  _ nuts _ !” 

“His mom wants him to go for football again with the older kids when we get back home,” Maya mutters in Shawn’s direction, “the much  _ bigger _ , older kids.”

“Gotchya,” Shawn winks knowingly, “I mean, we could stop for some ice cream? Help you bulk up with some extra calories so you stand a chance against those beasts.” 

“ _ Beasts?! _ ” Charlie’s shoulders slump as he begins shuffling his feet. “Oh boy, better make it a double scoop... And Maya?” 

“Yes, Charles?”

“Tell that cute girl in our math class who sits behind Billy that I love her. It's my dying wish.” 

She chuckles, sliding her arm to his back and giving him a few pats. “Of course, sweetie, whatever you need.” 

  
  


**_High School_ **

Maya  _ loves _ high school. Not only does Abigail Adams South have an intense rivalry fueled with pure hatred against Abigail Adams North, or Missy’s current school, but Maya, Lucas,  _ and _ Charlie managed to make JV for cheer and football, landing them a few steps higher on the food chain as freshmen. 

The teachers are all extremely laid back (except for her Algebra instructor, he's kind of a dick), she has lunch with both her best friend and boyfriend both semesters,  _ and _ Charlie even manages to land three numbers by the end of their first week. (He ends up with some girl named Sally that's the epitome of actual sunshine, and Maya likes her a lot.) 

Within a month, Maya is living a comfortable life as a ninth grader with amazing friends, a boyfriend she fits perfectly with, and her family growing in size. 

_ It's insane,  _ she thinks with a grin. _ Completely nuts. Absolutely ludicrous, one might say.  _

xxxx

On the Fridays that Shawn isn't traveling for work, Katy Hart hosts the most intense game night since the event was probably created. The teams are typically Maya and Charlie against Lucas and Shawn, and they turn whatever board game Katy tugs out of the closet into a full on war before even a single Cheeto is taken from the snack bowl. 

“That's not fair- you can't just  _ give  _ her the property!” Shawn yells, his hand flying to try and snatch the card Charlie was passing off to Maya. 

“We’re business partners,” Charlie shrugs, grateful when Maya captures it before her mother’s boyfriend. 

“Maya, that's not how this works,” Lucas glares, already struggling in last place. He didn't even want to play, but she tricked him into it with false promises of an alliance- like it would be any different than every single game night before. 

“Shut up, Moral Compass,” Maya snorts, shaking her head, “And pay up, too. Seems you landed on my rising empire with Charles over here.” 

Shawn let's put an aggravated groan watching Lucas reluctantly stare at his low supply of money. “This isn't fair! Katy! Tell her this isn't fair!” 

“Mom!” Maya counters, “Tell Patty to stop being such a crybaby!” 

“Katy! Tell Penny that I've seen her steal cash from the bank- I should be banker!”

“Mom! Tell Patty that he can't prove anything!” 

“ _ Katy _ !”

“ _ Mom _ !”

(It goes on for ten minutes before monopoly is banned from the entire household for good, much to Lucas’s relief.) 

xxxx

The first time she sees Missy wearing her JV uniform, her veins mimic what she imagines the sensation of bursting is. She's sitting in the Bradford’s living room when Missy arrives with her boyfriend, Chase or Chance or something even more stupid, laughing about how she was lucky enough to get the very last set in her size. 

The fabric is a deep maroon while her own is mostly navy, with white stripes crossing a pattern on her torso and lining the pleats of her skirt, and even a golden trim lining  _ Raiders  _ across her chest right where Maya’s reads  _ Eagles.  _ She watches as Chase or Chance or whatever it is holds Missy by the waist, and when she twists to say goodbye to her partner, Maya catches a quick glimpse of her ass beneath the shortest skirt to probably ever exist. 

(It's the first time she touches her middle school playlist of rage since the summer she made it.) 

xxxx

“So, you thinking of goin’ to homecoming with anyone?” Lucas starts coyly, earning a grin while Maya interlaces their fingers. They're walking home from their practices, making a pit stop at Maya’s for a change of clothes before heading to the Friar’s until her mom would be home from the late shift. 

“Totally,” she smirks, “There's this absolute  _ babe _ in my history class named Isaac.” He rolls his eyes as they approach her street, pulling his hand away so she can let them in. “I've been dropping hints all week.” 

“You're such an ass,” he laughs as she dashes up the stairs, trailing her until they're in front of her house, panting heavily at the two blocks they just ran all for a race they tied in. 

“Takes one to know one,” she retorts, clicking the lock and stumbling in when he wraps his arms around her and plants sloppy kisses on her face. 

“Huckleberry!” she shrieks, wiggling in his grasp, “You're all gross and sweaty! Get off me, no touching until you shower!” 

“Only if you say you'll be my date,” he prompts, lifting her up enough to capture her lips with his. He swallows her giggles and doesn't set her down or show any sign of stopping until she nods. 

“Fine! Fine! I'll be your date just put me down!” She gags at him obnoxiously as she feels his sweat clinging to her tank top, making heaving noises as they follow the hall to her bedroom so that she can swap clothes.

She doesn't expect to see Missy Bradford, of all people, waiting on her mattress when she bursts into her bedroom, swatting at her boyfriend’s wandering hands. She freezes immediately, this being the first (sort of, kinda) formal meeting between the girl she'd kissed in the beginning of her relationship with the boy touching her. 

Missy’s eyes go wide, completely locked on Lucas’s possessive demeanor. “Oh, shit, sorry. I didn't know you were having him over or I would’ve just- like, I wouldn't have- I.. Um, my mom changed our locks because there was some mixup with our landlord and she lost the master, and she forgot to give me a copy before I left for school,” she rambles, her gaze never leaving his hands curled to Maya’s waist. “Izzy’s at a science thing with her dad, and this is the only other place I have a key to, so Katy said that I could come hang out here until my mom gets back from work. I didn't know that you were… uh,  _ using _ it, or I would've never even come in the first place- I'll just..” 

Maya frowns at how uncomfortable Missy looks before she notices how puffy her eyes seem to be and it’s painfully obviously that she'd cried off a fraction of her makeup before they’d arrived. She pushes Lucas off of her before turning around to face him. “I think I'm gonna stick around here for a bit, ‘kay, babe? Tell your mom that we can do a makeup quesadilla night again soon.” 

He gives her an off look, glancing back between the girl she’d been claiming to hate since they had met in middle school and his girlfriend blinking innocently up at him. “Alright, whatever you say,” he tells her, leaning down and stealing a kiss before waving awkwardly in Missy’s direction. “I'll call you tonight, alright, Shortstack?” 

She nods at his departing figure, shouting a quick, “You better, Ranger Rick!” before turning her attention back to the withering brunette on her bed. The air is thick considering they hadn't actually shared a real conversation since Missy’s outburst, but Maya still feels bad for her. She's obviously struggling with something major and this was her last resort, meaning she's just as desperate.

Maya silently stands and rushes to her bathroom. She returns with a package of makeup wipes, tugging one out before handing over the towelette and supply to Missy with pursed lips. “Your face looks all blotchy and your mascaras kind of smudged… all over.” 

“Thanks,” Missy sniffs in a small voice, immediately wiping beneath her eyes to seem the slightest bit more composed. “Sorry, for, uh… ruining whatever you were doing with the blockhe-  _ Lucas _ , I mean. You didn't have to kick him out.” 

Maya wanders over to her dresser, tugging out some pajamas to change into and shaking her head. “No, it's fine. Chicks before dicks and all that bullshit our moms shove down our throats, y’know?” They share a bittersweet chuckle at the mention. “I'm just gonna shower really quick, and then we can order a movie or something because you're pretty rough on the eyes.” There's no edge to her insult, but it's enough to ease the tension between them. 

“Shut the fuck up, dipshit,” Missy laughs, throwing her used wipe in Maya’s direction. 

The blonde dodges it and sticks out her tongue. “Use as many as you need. You look like a gremlin,” she snickers, slipping into the bathroom before Missy can try and strike again. 

“Takes one to know one, Hart!”

xxxx

Maya skips the homecoming dance freshman year to make out with Lucas in her empty living room. They really should've gone considering they'd won the election for court, but accepting their sashes on Monday will hopefully be just as fun as being packed into a sweaty gym full of people Maya can hardly stand. 

xxxx

Sandy buys her a guitar for Christmas- tells her it’s to compliment that beautiful voice of hers- and so far all she knows is Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star, but Missy still tells her that she's doing great when she performs it in her living room. 

Ever since the afternoon in Maya’s bedroom, they'd been a bit more civil with each other. There's still that edge of rivalry and tension built over the years, but the blows aren't as lethal and they smile a lot more afterwards. 

(With a smile like Missy’s being what she gets to see, Maya can't find much reason to complain.) 

xxxx

The first song that she ever plays for Lucas is for Charlie. He knocks on her window and when she calls for him to come in, sheets of music are scattered across her bed and her tiny figure is in the center of the clutter with her guitar propped up against her chest. He holds back a chuckle as she struggles to reach a notebook on her far left, the instrument nearly too big for her to work around. 

"Hey, do you think you could tell me if this sucks? It's for Charles. Marlie Day is coming up." 

He's well aware that the anniversary of their friendship is around the corner considering Charlie has had him  _ scrapbooking _ for the past three weeks. (He claims his mom came up with the idea to surprise Maya with a binder for each year they've been attached, but there's something in Charlie’s standards for each page that leads him to believe different.) He slides into her bedroom, kicking off his shoes and throwing his jacket on top of them. "Sure. You wrote him a song?"

"Well,  _ no _ , but I plan on serenading him with Wind Beneath My Wings after we have his mom’s red velvet cake for dessert, and, considering it's our favorite Bette Midler classic, he's gonna love it- I hope. It's  _ obviously  _ our anthem.”

" _ Obviously,”  _ Lucas smirks, shifting to a fond smile when Maya begins to strum. “For what it counts, I already love it.” 

"Well, I don't need  _ you  _ to love it. I need  _ Charlie  _ to love it. It is gonna have to really be something to beat his un-fucking-believable scrapbooking skills. That kid is a master.”

He tenses up, wondering if he'd managed to ruin Charlie’s secret without knowing it. "I-uh.. I don't think he's making you scrapbooks." 

Maya's eyes narrow. "Tsk, tsk. I'm appalled, Ranger Rick." She shakes her head, placing her guitar to her side so that she can quickly peck his lips in greeting. "You reek of tacky glue and  _ lies _ ."

xxxx

Even with being more civil, Maya and Missy don't necessarily spend much time  _ alone _ per se. The only alone time that they really get is when their moms send them to Missy’s room after dinner, and, even then, they're locked to their phones with one girl on the mattress and the other sprawled across the floor. 

Maya thinks it's easier this way. 

xxxx

“Lucas told me that he loves me tonight,” she grins to Charlie, her head resting on his lap as they reel in their emotions after completing their very first year of high school. Yeah, midterms were hell, and finals were worse, but they already have plans to audition for their respective varsity teams and Charlie’s dad is taking them to Spain for two weeks this summer so they have a lot to be excited about. 

“Do you love him back?” Charlie asks, his hand playing with her hair when her eyes well with pure warmth. 

“Yeah, Charles. I love him very much.” 

xxxx

The Bradford and Hart families go to the beach a record amount of times together that summer, and when Missy laughs so wide that the rays of the sun cast a glow around her entire silhouette, Maya’s hands twitch in reflex to try and find her old iPod. 

xxxx

“Y’know, sometimes I look at you and think that you're playing games with me,” he says to her one day, an odd smile on his lips. 

She's seated on Lucas’s lap, the hems of her practice outfit being traced by the pads of his fingers. She’d made varsity only a week before he and Charlie had, and a big celebratory dinner was held at the Gardners’ apartment with all types of treats after the news. 

“What do you mean?” Her eyebrows bunch as she stretches out her legs, hyperextending them and twisting to crack her back when she faces him.  

“I mean that sometimes I see how beautiful you are and I can't believe you're really mine.” 

“Oh, shut up, Huckleberry,” she smirks, pushing lightly on his chest. “You're such a sap.” 

(She loves him- very, very, very,  _ very  _ much.)

xxxx

Missy makes varsity around the same time that she does, and their schools hold practice games in preparation for homecoming week that make Maya want to rip her hair out. Most of her squad is seniors, meaning that she only has a year to get in their good graces enough to promote to the first junior head cheerleader in Eagles history next year, and she's already  _ exceptionally _ good, meaning that she's off to a fantastic start and they already adore her. 

She just hates how the varsity uniforms are ever-so-slightly shorter and lighter and basically a second skin and how Missy looks fucking unbelievable in hers. 

xxxx

“How's the boyfriend, Bratford? Still not star quarterback?”  

“Peachy. Yours, Penelope? Still suspiciously the size of a college senior?” 

“Just as perfect as a plum.”

xxxx

Things aren't as peachy as she portrays, and Katy insists that Missy take Maya to homecoming when Chase or Chance or whatever dumps Missy for a girl half as gorgeous and a fraction of how funny she is. Maya plans on kicking his ass when he sees Missy’s dressed balled into a pile on the floor only a few days before the dance. 

“Well, I'll go with you,” Maya proposes, the required forms for a date out of the school already filled out in her hands. She sets them down on the bed with a shrug. “My homecoming was like two weeks ago, so I have everything I need. I can half ass something with my hair that you can fix before we take pictures. All that fun stuff. Our ‘rents will eat it right up.” 

Missy stares at her, but Maya knows that she's going to accept. She has a crown to redeem at that dance- of course, she's going to go. 

“C’mon, Princess, don't leave me hangin’.” She pushes the papers closer to the brunette, a peaceful smile in play. 

“It's not Princess,” Missy corrects, taking her bottom lip between her teeth momentarily. “That's the juniors. Sophomores win Dutchess. And we'll get you a new dress to match mine, they'll all be really cheap since my homecoming happens so late in the month.” 

“Just as long as you're paying,  _ Dutchess _ Bratford.”

xxxx

They manage to get her an entirely new homecoming outfit for less than forty dollars, the pastel she ends up in bringing out her eyes in a way that makes Sandy tell her that the breath was snatched from her lungs. 

Missy agrees quietly, and when they pose for pictures, there's a subtle hesitation to every move they make. An odd rush of adrenaline through Maya at Missy’s touch, and so she makes sure to call Lucas when she gets home and tell him that she loves him more than once. 

xxxx

Charlie has a girlfriend named Alexandra that hates Maya with all her being, and they make it less than a month before he's single again because she tries to fight his best friend. 

Maya would give up Lucas in an instant if he disliked Charlie, and she wonders just how much she truly does love him if that's the case. 

xxxx

“If we’re both single when we're like 35, will you marry me so I don't end up a hermit?” 

“Charles, I'd marry you now if it meant you wouldn't be a hermit.” 

xxxx

She is almost sixteen and she learns what being in love is when clinging to her boyfriend’s arm, gliding around the rink at Rockefeller with bewitching laugher and alluring grins being shared between them almost surreally. It's incredibly cheesy, and she almost didn't want to go because she was terrified it would be crowded, but he assured that if they go early enough that they'll be fine. They packed a small thermos filled with her favorite tea and they stuffed a ziploc bag full of their favorite cookies into his coat pocket and they left while only a total of six people were on the ice. 

(She doesn't admit that he's right, and she kisses the smug look off of his face when she knows he's gonna brag about it.) 

Even aside from their date in the city, they can't be in a room without touching each other in some way and she can't help but spend all of her time with him-sans the few hours her and Charlie catch alone, but she still misses him then- and if she doesn't call him every night to tell him about everything that happened while they weren't joined at the hip, she feels the ache of loneliness rotting in her core. 

He doesn't see her as the broken girl with half a mom and no dad that haunts her in the mirror every morning, so she paints less to share dinner with him and she invites him to all of her movie nights and when she assumes his eyes are lingering too long in a direction away from hers, he talks her down until her boiling blood simmers and that's what being in love is. 

She wants every part of him to slowly etch itself into the curves of the veins under her skin until she's covered in novels describing his childhood in Texas, and that's what being in love is. 

xxxx

Shawn sneaks in monopoly behind Katy’s back one faithful Friday. 

(She finds out- they always find out- and now she checks his bag every time he comes through the door.)

xxxx

“Hey, guys, can I..uh, talk to you?” Lucas mutters, stumbling up to Charlie and Maya in the halls one morning towards the end of their sophomore year. They wordlessly nod, and he announces to them that his dad got transferred, he’ll be back in Texas by December the upcoming school year.

Charlie grabs Maya’s hand before she can register that she’s silent because her throat is closing up.

xxxx

Maya falls into a sort of depression after finding out Lucas is moving again. It’s not that her entire life revolves around some boy or anything like some desperate teenage cliché, it’s just that she had plans for them- major plans throughout all of high school that he needs to actually be in high school with her to play out- but now he won’t be because of his fucking dad having to fucking work in fucking Texas and she hates her life, she truly does because fuck, fuck,  _ fuck.  _

“Excuse me?” Sandy coughs from across the kitchen table, her mother’s eyes bulging from her side. 

“I’m not gonna lie to you, I have no clue what I just said, but if it’s along the lines of  _ truck  _ like I think it is, I think I’ll just excuse myself to Missy’s room instead of dessert,” Maya admits in a small voice, sliding out of her chair and dumping her plate in the kitchen sink before storming to the bedroom.

There’s only about three minutes before she hears the sound of Missy escaping from the dining room, apparently also skipping dessert, and Maya wonders if maybe she has some sort of crisis happening, too. They could bond or something over Maya’s crumbling love life and her bittersweet view on the rest of her high school career. 

“Moms sent me to check on you,” Missy says, lifting a plate with a single cupcake on it in the air as she closes the door behind her, “I come bearing dessert, too. They only had one red velvet in the box, so they said we could share it.” She cautiously approaching Maya’s figure, sitting on the bed beside her with enough distance to place the treat between them. “Are you… Like… Do you…”

“Lucas is moving,” Maya blurts out, her lips pressed firmly together as she watches her swinging legs. “I’m trying not to let it upset me, but it really is because he’s my boyfriend and I love him and now he’s moving to fucking Texas without me and I had the next three years at least planned for us that are all now ruined.” She lets out a shaky sigh to avoid the tears she can feel welling in her eyes. “And I don’t want to cry over it because that’s so  _ stupid _ . It’s dumb and cliché and I want him to just leave and me to be perfectly okay with it, but we’re gonna have to break up before junior prom is even set in stone, and I don’t know if he’s going to be able to do football next year, and I don’t want to act like some weeping cry baby in an angsty teen novel, but he’s leaving me and he’s not supposed to leave.”

“ _ Oh, _ ” is all that Missy responds before she can see tears slipping down the blonde’s cheeks. She puts their food onto her lap, scooting in to try and provide comfort. “I… Damn, that really sucks.”

“Yeah,” Maya laughs bitterly, wiping at her damp skin, “and I haven’t even told my mom yet. I know she’s gonna make a huge deal about it when I do, so I wanted to wait until we at least have a definite day. I just… I can’t believe I was fucking idiotic enough to hope for this, y’know?” 

“It’s not idiotic,” Missy assures, “I mean, you’re many things, but you’re not an idiot.” She breaks the cupcake into sloppy halves with her hands. “Let’s just focus on this, yeah? You have the rest of your life to cry over blockheads, but we only have now to eat three dollars of pure ecstasy from the bakery down the block.” 

When Maya snatches her share up and her tense body falls limp with the first bite, relief washes through Missy. 

“Y’know what, Bratford...you’re not half bad.” 

“Wow, Maya,” Missy chuckles in return, “I think that’s about the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.” 

“Don’t let it get to your ego,” Maya teases, popping another piece of the cake into her mouth. “It’s the sweets talking.” 

“Oh, yeah, I bet,” Missy snorts, her eyes falling to the frosting caught on the corner of Maya’s mouth. She hesitates when she reaches up, her eyes focused on her friend’s (are they even considered friends?) lips. “Here, you have…”

The room goes silent when Missy’s hand brushes the side of her face, Maya’s breath hitching at the unexpected contact. 

Their second kiss is accidental- or so Missy will claim- and it’s a really big heat of the moment thing that happens on a saturnine Tuesday in their excruciatingly quiet suburb, and the brunette shoves herself from her friend (she thinks that they’re friends, maybe) as fast as she can as soon as her mind catches up with her body. 

“Fuck, Maya, I’m so fucking sorry,” she rattles out, “I don’t know what I was thinking. You were just so close, and your mouth was right there, and I just sort of leaned in to look even closer, and fuck, Maya, fu-”

Their third kiss is intentional- Maya can’t deny that- and it’s a clumsy combination of teeth and tongue and pale hands desperately scraping olive skin for a grand total of sixty seven seconds (Missy was counting how long she would be able to hold her breath before passing out) and then it’s Maya’s turn to scurry away in realization. 

Both of them inhale sharply in an attempt to sooth their rapid hearts, and Maya stutters out a hurried, “I have to go,” with flushed cheeks, not daring to look Missy in the eyes as she rises from the mattress and seeks out her mother.

xxxx

She goes straight to Charlie’s, some bullshit excuse about leaving some book or lipgloss or whatever her mom bought as reasoning with a promise of being home within the hour, and she sobs into his chest for upwards of forty minutes because she doesn't know what's going on anymore. 

“Missy kissed me,” she huffs, storming into his bedroom and throwing herself dramatically onto his resting body. 

“Maya?! What the fuck, I was  _ sleeping _ !” he grunts, only getting her to nuzzle closer in response.

“Missy kissed me, and I kissed her back, and I think that I like girls, Charlie.” 

He goes silent for a few seconds, stroking her back soothingly before she shudders. 

“I just… Lucas is leaving and Missy kissed me and then I kissed her and I… God, I needed to be with someone that's never going to leave me or confuse me or make my heart clench so tightly I doubt the arteries are even open anymore, let alone pumping blood.” 

“I love you, Maya,” he mutters, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, “but you sure are a handful sometimes.  _ Plus _ , I totally told you that you wanted to do the do with Missy like forever ago.” 

“Charles, I am attached to practically all of your limbs right now. I would choose my words  _ very  _ carefully before you get  _ torn  _ to  **_shreds_ ** .” 

Charlie smirks, shifting so she can comfortably rest beside him and taking out his phone to text Katy that Maya’s spending the night, a rough day taking its toll. He tells her that she'll be home in the morning and that he'll make sure she comes clean with the details before tossing it onto his nightstand and pulling his best friend closer. “Please at least leave the arm I write with,” he begs, covering them both with his comforter after she shimmies out of her jeans meekly, absolutely worn from her emotions. 

“I'll consider, but only ‘cause I love you, too.” Her sighs grows content as she relaxes into Charlie’s touch, humming at the contact when she tucks her head onto his chest and closes her eyes.

“Hey, Charles?” she mumbles out.

“Yes, Penelope?” 

“You're my best friend in this entire world, and I love you.” 

“You're mine, too, but don't think that buttering me up with get you out of telling your mom about everything with Lucas.”

“God damn it, you dickwad, you can't let me have  _ anything _ !” 

“And there's my favorite little asshole poppin’ back in before shut eye.” 

“I want you dead.”

“Oh, I love you, too, bud. Sleep extra tight.” 

She smiles against the fabric of his shirt, her hands clinging ever so slightly more to him after he bids goodnight. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, dumbass. Don't let the extra bed bugs bite.”

xxxx

She tells her mom, and she gets hugged so tight that she questions revealing anything to her mother about anyone at any point in any lifetime ever again.

xxxx

Missy and Maya only see each other during football games after their second kiss (and their third) (and there being a very real possibility of their fourth) because Maya starts skipping out on dinner with the Bradfords to soak in as much Lucas as she can. 

She's not particularly sure if only encountering the enticing brunette while she's clad in her less than modest cheerleading uniform is her  _ best _ idea, but she'd just kissed that fucking girl about two weeks ago, so it's obviously not her worst. 

xxxx

With his pending departure, Maya and Lucas become absolutely inseparable. They skip classes to make out in stairwells, share each bite of every meal between ‘I love you’s and ‘I don't ever want to be apart’s, game nights even get cancelled to become dates- therefore, it's only logical that when they get a definite date on purchased plane tickets, they decide that they want to have sex before he's gone. 

“I just- I'm not pressuring you or anything, Maya, but I just want you to know that I'd really like you to be my first, and if you aren't ready, I'm fine with that, I just really fucking love you and I really fucking want the world with you and I want your first time to be with someone that loves you and, fuck, I love you so much, and I want you to be my first and I just-” 

She shuts him up by kissing him,  _ only  _ kissing him, and it doesn't settle in until late that night, bundled beneath blankets and pillows and the toxic air of impending heartbreak, that today she made plans to lose her virginity while only sixteen to a boy who’s leaving her. 

xxxx

From the week her father left to the first day of the next month, young Maya had come up with a sort of contract with herself. She watched her mother’s eyes succumb to the pressure of heartache just like glass, spiderweb fractures distorting the image of a happy home, a happy family, a happy life. 

Maya refused it and, at eleven years old, vowed that she would allow herself one chance at love. She would allow one sliver of hope to drip from her heart to the core of her lungs to steal her breath when the perfect boy smiled her way- just like Lucas had. 

She wanted a streak of only a single person stealing the title of her first, but that meant that she wanted her first time to be with her first date, her first boyfriend, her first kiss, and Lucas was only two of those things. 

“I’m having a crisis,” she moans to Charlie after school, draping herself across his couch before he lifts her head to seat his lap beneath it. 

“What about now?” 

“My stupid rules about stupid firsts and my stupid boyfriend wanting to stupidly have stupid sex.” 

“So, you and Lucas plan on doing the do and you're having a crisis because it's supposed to be Princess Bradford but you didn't plan on Missy being your first kiss so you don't know what to do?” Charlie sighs, his hand stroking the top of her head after she gives a sad nod. “Oh, Maya, what am I going to do with you?”

“Charles, I wish we had fallen in love and I never met anyone else ever.” 

He laughs a little, settling into his couch before speaking again in a sweet tone, “I know you do, Penelope.” 

xxxx

Missy calls her sometimes, late at night when she can't sleep and Isadora is dreaming of formulas and equations and cures for every disease whether known to man or not, and Maya answers because she likes the way Missy’s voice rasps when she laughs at a dumb joke she read on the wrapper of a candy she found tucked under her pillow.

They act as if the conversations don't happen when the sun rises because it's summer and Maya doesn't think anyone really cares except Charlie, who's the only one she tells anyway. 

(She keeps the nights that she ignores Lucas for Missy’s company to herself, a guilty secret wrapped with the paper thin fragility of her relationship’s ticking clock and a bow stitched together with unspoken apologies.)

xxxx

Charlie says he thinks it might be a good thing that Lucas is leaving, and Maya really, really tries not to see his point. 

xxxx

“Maya, you need to tell Lucas that you don't feel morally sound sleeping with him.” 

“He doesn't even know he wasn't my first kiss, Charlie.”

“Then you need to tell Missy that you feel morally sound sleeping with her.” 

“Say that again, I'll use your mom’s handcuffs to chain you against a streetlight on the highway.” 

xxxx

When Maya sees Missy undressing after making the revelation that she subconsciously wants to fuck her, she's pretty sure that she has a nervous breakdown. 

They have their first varsity competition as head cheerleaders and their moms spend too long taking pictures of them in their uniforms when they’re supposed to be at the school loading onto the bus, opting them out of the free ride and causing Maya to stuff all their things in the back of her mom’s rusty Buick and whip the keys towards Missy’s palms. 

It's not even that it's that long of a ride to their destination either, they didn't even  _ need _ to make a pit stop to rest, but Missy refused to listen to Maya’s directions so the four hour trip turned into a six hour trip which turned into an eight hour trip which turned into  _ “Fuck, Bradford, why does that sign say state lines?!”  _ which turned into a night in crammed in the single vacant suite of a shitty motel on the border of New Jersey that makes Maya want to rip her hair out. 

As icing on the cake, their squads don't even come close to placing without them there, which makes it that much worse when Maya bursts into the room after hanging up with Sarah to deliver the news to Missy that their first competition was a bust- only to find the other girl slipping out of her uniform and into the practice outfit she has tucked into her bag. 

Charlie’s voice in the back of her mind tells her that she really needs to inform Missy of her weird firsts rule, but her mouth won't move and  her eyes are glued to the curve of her waist, the notches of her spine trailing her back, soft skin that she can practically feel from her place five feet away. 

“Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck _ .” 

Missy’s attention snaps to the stumbling blonde, watching Maya advert her eyes while muttering words her mother wouldn't approve of. “Uh, you alright there?” Missy asks, tugging her tank top over her torso before stepping closer. 

“ _ No!” _ Maya yelps, slamming herself back against the closed door when Missy approaches. “I need you to just not come any closer to me for like the rest of my life please.” She curses herself and refuses to look anywhere but the ceiling, her thighs being pressed tightly together when Missy gives her an odd look and goes to change into her shorts. 

She tries not to notice Missy’s skirt dropping to the ground, her spanx following before probably the tiniest pair of shorts that Maya has ever seen replace them, but she does notice and it's slowly killing her and Missy’s legs are so long and fuck, fuck,  _ fuck _ . 

“Okay, why do you keep saying that?” Missy scrunches her eyebrows together, half expecting Maya to stay silent before she seems to erupt from her thoughts. 

“Look, I have this thing about firsts and like how I only wanted one person to be my first everything because true love and bullshit, but I fucked that up because we kissed when we were like fucking thirteen and then I told Lucas that he was my first kiss and now he wants to have sex because we love each other and he's leaving- but he thinks I'm okay with it because he thinks he was my first kiss, and I'm not okay with it- and Charlie thinks that I should just come clean and tell him about how I kissed you and I think I like girls, too, and how you're basically the only person on this planet that I am okay with losing my virginity to, but I tried to tell him that I can't just  _ tell you  _ that I want to sleep with you when I'm supposed to fuck Lucas like he's the only person I've ever even thought about in that way even though he's not because holy fuck, Missy, have you ever seen your fucking body?!” Maya inhales sharply, pacing the ground as her rambling continues. “It drives me fucking insane, and I'm forced to have dinner with you and sleep at your house in your bed and we spend so much time together even though we've had this weird rivalry thing going on for like twelve million years and I know Charlie’s right because I should tell Lucas, but I don't want to break his heart because I know it will, and I can't not sleep with him because he thinks I'm alright with it because he thinks he was my first everything and it's fucking eating me alive! I’m going absolutely fucking crazy and I was doing so well until I had to get in the car with you and you were singing to the radio too loud and missed our exit and swerved lanes when I threw those gummy bears at your head and landed us in this fucking dump for the night with one bed that probably has dirty sheets and piss stains!” 

Missy stares blankly, blinking at Maya with an unreadable look as she slumps onto the bed defeatedly. 

“I just want to have sex with my boyfriend without feeling like I'm disappointing my eleven year old self because he wasn't my first kiss, and he's not going to be my last because he's leaving me,” Maya sniffles, kicking the ground with the tip of her shoe. 

Slowly, Missy steps to her, eyes locked on the blonde’s sulking figure with a tight frown. “Okay.” 

Maya’s head snaps up with a bewildered look, greeted with Missy towering over her determinedly. She watches as Missy climbs onto the bed, one leg on either side of Maya’s waist to straddle her. “W-what?”

“Okay,” Missy repeats to her, trailing her arms above Maya’s shoulders and using a hand to brush her hair aside. 

“I- Missy, what?” Maya’s mouth falls open as she notices Missy's eyes following the the features of her face, a light smile tugging on her lips. 

“Look, this is obviously tearing you up, and if it really means that much to you, I don't want you to miss out on anything with him,” Missy admits softly, “I've known you my entire life, Maya. No matter what we've been through or how we've treated each other, I want you to be happy.” 

Maya is frozen under her, the beating of her heart probably audible above her constricting uniform- fuck, she should've changed- and Missy just grins at her, like she knows a secret no one else does, like this is how everything is supposed to be and Maya was the only one that didn't get the memo. “You don't have to do this, though, if you would rather it be anyone else, I’d understand-”

“I've thought about it, too,” Missy says abruptly, “About  _ us  _ and like firsts, I mean, and just…” She leans down, her face only inches away now, “If you want me to stop, tell me, okay?” She fumbles with the zipper on Maya’s skirt, undoing it clumsily without making any effort to actually take it off. “If you don't want this, just tell me to stop.” 

And she  _ shouldn't  _ want this, she knows that she shouldn’t, but still her hands warily uncurl themselves from fists and she uses her fingertips to trace up the tops of Missy’s thighs, completely ignoring the boundary set by her shorts to rub the skin beneath them, and her lungs constrict when Missy dips down enough to kiss her causing her nails to dig into her smooth flesh. 

Everything just falls into place after that. Shaking hands steady out, awkward positioning changes to ridding of clothes to lying flat against the bed, one girl over the other, unsure gasps shift to moans of each other’s names, cursing as they take turns arching into every stroke; their detour became dirty words on dirty sheets in that dirty fucking motel room that Maya is finally starting to like.

And Maya doesn't think she's ever seen Missy so beautiful. She hates how cliché it sounds, but the second that she flips them over to slide her hand between the brunette’s legs, there’s a unexpected whimper let out and Missy is begging- Missy, fucking  _ begging _ \- her to keep going. Her cheeks flush and she grips the blanket bunched awkwardly around them when her head rolls back, and Maya can't fucking help but think about how lucky she is to see her this way, to see her so vulnerable, and for a second, just as Missy’s crying out the loudest she has the entire night, she's so fucking thankful that they got lost. She wants to thank Jesus himself that Missy is an asshole when it comes to taking directions because the only way to describe the feeling of her pupils dilating as the girl she's attempted to torment practically her entire life unravels from beneath her is pure  _ bliss _ .

(She doesn't remember that she has a boyfriend until after they're spent when she's shuffling through her duffel. She pulls out two of his shirts that she keeps handy for when she wants to pull on something loose after hours of being stuffed into an unfortunate polyester blend, and she hesitates before she tosses one to Missy, the brunette not even noticing as she puts it on and tucks herself beneath the comforter to catch some sleep before they leave in the morning.)

xxxx 

Lucas calls around four because he hadn't gotten a goodnight text and he wanted to make sure that everything was alright, and she answers it impulsively without realizing that there's a warm body wrapped around her. 

“Hey, Shortstack, sorry it's so late. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. It was kinda keepin’ me up.” She can practically hear the sheepish smile on his lips, and it makes her stomach churn. 

“Oh, yeah, no, I'm great, Lucas.” Missy leans up head up with a yawn, and Maya avoids looking her way. 

“Did you just call me Lucas?” he questions, his voice growing more alert. 

“Yeah, I did, but it's fine, don't look into it, I'm just tense- tired and everything from this whole trip. I'll just… I'll, um, talk to you in the morning, okay?” 

“Alright, if you say so. Night, babe, I love you.”

She grimaces as she rushes out a whispered, “Night, I love you, too,” and hangs up as fast as she possibly can.

When her heart rate starts to pick up again, Missy pulls her closer and mumbles sleepily that it'll be okay, that everything will work out, and Maya blindly melts against her because she sure as hell hopes so. 


	2. 1000 miles per hour

Missy wakes up before Maya does, tenderly slipping from their tangled limbs and changing into her own clothes before tossing a pair of Maya’s shorts onto the bed. The rest of their things get packed up, and when she leaves the room to toss them into the car, she returns to find Maya stretching out with a long yawn, her shorts and shoes already on so that they can leave. 

She twists when Missy opens the door, their eyes locking when a smile plays on her lips. “Hey,” Maya says quietly, rising to her feet and impulsively closing the gap between them. She wraps her arms around the taller girl’s waist, her head tucking right under her chin. “Thanks,” she states simply, “For understanding, and for wanting me to be happy. I forgot to thank you, and I just… God, Lucas texted me that he made reservations at some hotel for the night before he leaves and for the first time since we planned the fucking thing, I didn't feel like throwing up all my internal organs.” 

Missy sighs into Maya’s hair, pressing her lips lightly against it. “Of course,” she replies meekly, “I'm glad you're happy.” 

They part enough for Maya to nod, her eyes a twinkling blue so pure that Missy doesn't think she's seen it since they were children. “I am,” she promises. “I'm very happy, and I know that things are going to be weird again once we get home and everything settles and we have to pretend this didn't happen, but, right in this second, I'm so happy.” 

It's enough to make Missy snatch a quick kiss, muttering out that they really need to get on the road to make it home at a reasonable time, and Maya steals one right back because it dazes the brunette enough to give her the advantage she needs to win the race back to the car. 

xxxx

“Charlie, I slept with Missy.” 

“I  _ told you  _ that you wanted to do the do with Missy! And you can't even punch me this time because  _ I was right! _ ” 

“Do you really wanna take that chance?” 

“You're right. Forget I bragged at all, fuck.” 

xxxx

When Maya runs out of paper while at Lucas’s house, she likes to use him as a canvas. Felt tip markers are used to doodle little cartoons of her boyfriend as the rodeo clown she insists he's going to be once back in the south, and he just sits there with an adoring smile and let's her mock him. 

She decides to sketch a bouquet of dicks across his bicep, using the darkest Sharpies at her disposal so that it won't wash off by the time they're in crowded hallways filled with their peers, and she blends them into bundles of hydrangeas that he laughs so hard at that he gets the crinkles by his eyes that she loves. 

When she sets her pen down to switch colors, he works quickly to steal the red and before she can blink twice he's pressing a lopsided heart into the inside of her wrist and sealing it with a kiss. 

“You big idiot, you smudged it all over your lips. Now you look like you're wearing cherry red lipstick because you can't help being a sap,” she scoffs, chuckling a bit at his appearance. 

He gains a mischievous smirk before tapping his chin with his forefinger. “So, what you're saying is that anything I kiss right now will be covered in red ink?” 

“Yeah, dumba...wait! No, no,  _ no _ , Lucas Friar, I swear to-” 

But it's already too late. He's got her pinned to his bed, smacking his lips all over her squirming face as she giggles. By the time he pulls away, his red is a pale, faded pink and she can just tell she looks ridiculous. 

“You look like you have the chicken pox,” he beams proudly.

“It's not the chicken pox,” she scoffs. “It's an allergic reaction.” 

“Oh yeah? To what?” 

“Stupid boys.”

She leaves out that she's not allergic to stupid girls, but that's okay because it's not relevant, and he doesn't need to know that. 

xxxx

Sandy doesn't know much of Lucas. She's met him a few times- of course, at birthday parties, holidays, joint school functions- but she hardly actually knows him, and so she invites him to dinner. Katy and Maya are spending the evening over at their table anyways, she  _ insists  _ that they take him along, and so they do and Maya doesn't think she's ever been so uncomfortable in her life. 

It's nearly unbearable, and, usually, she can make it through dinner by calling Missy names or poking fun at her clothes or cheer routines or school colors or anything- but she can't even do that to escape because Missy is eyeing her plate with a clenched jaw, stabbing at her meal and tugging her pouting lip between her teeth each time Lucas charms the table with a story. She's ignoring the entire scene, and Maya can't even blame her because she doesn't even want him there herself. She feels like he's intruding on some sacred ritual that the women of their families have shared since she was practically a toddler, and Lucas is laughing with their mothers like it's exactly where he belongs. 

“Maya, why don't you go and get the cake in the fridge now that the table is cleared? Let us talk to Mr. Hotshot Quarterback for a while longer,” Sandy grins, oblivious of the teen girls sulking at the end of her table for the better half of dinner. Maya eagerly accepts the chance to slip away, ripping her hand from his own under the table and standing up before he could feel the cool air reach his palm.

“Missy?” she impulsively blurts, her eyes trained on Missy’s anxious deposition. 

“Yeah?” the girl in question answers, her body perking at Maya’s call to her. 

“I, uh- do you want to help me go get dessert?” Maya asks nervously, not even wanting to see Lucas’s concerned gaze at her fumbled words. Missy nods, standing and wandering into the kitchen with Maya before anyone else could point out their tension. 

“I wanted to check on you,” Maya whispers, catching Missy’s arm and pulling her out of the line of sight to the dining room. “You look upset, and I just… I wanted to make sure you were okay.” She was obviously hurting in some way, and Maya could easily infer that it had something to do with that night in the motel room. 

“Maya…” Missy practically whimpers, her throat a bit rough, “I didn't… Maya, we messed up…” 

“No, no, no,” Maya hushes her, reaching out to cup Missy’s cheek and brush her thumb across the soft skin. “No, Missy, please don't cry.” 

“I just… He's such a good guy.” It sounds almost helpless falling from her lips.”I always heard the stories, but I figured the tales of Mr. Perfect couldn't all be true,” she bitterly chuckles, “I thought that he wouldn't reach the expectations, but… well, holy shit, Maya, he did. He’s incredible. He loves you so fucking much, and he's an amazing student, and he's the star quarterback, and he-”

“He's leaving me,” Maya finishes, her lips pressed firmly into a straight line as Missy’s rambling halts. “He's moving away, and he's leaving me, and he doesn't know things that he should because if he did, he wouldn't be here right now.” Her eyebrows knit together, guilt coursing through her as she realizes that she hadn't told him anything. Even now, she's facing the girl that held her first kiss, her first time, everything that was promised to him. “He doesn't know, and it's not fair for me to ask you to just pretend like it's okay, but, Missy, please, just ignore him for like twenty more minutes and I'll convince him that it's time to go, and I'll make it up to you, okay? I'll do anything that you need me to do so that I can make it up to you, but I just need you not to cry and to carry out slices of this stupid cake so that I can get him out of here.” She stares up with wide eyes, pleading the other girl with all she has to just suck it up for a tiny bit longer. 

“You'll do anything?” Missy stares, already knowing that she'd do it whether or not a bribe was brought up. 

“Anything.” 

Missy nods slightly, stepping and brushing Maya’s shoulder to reach the plates and silverware. She intricately stacks it that o carry out for the table before she locks eyes with Maya once more, and then she makes a demand that makes Maya’s heart sink to the deepest depths of hell so that she may wallow in her infidelity for as long as she lives. 

“Tell him. He deserves to know.”

xxxx

“Charlie, why are you best friends with a dirty, rotten, inconsiderately selfish monster of a girl?” Maya sighs from his chest, cuddled to him on his couch, ignoring the movie playing on his tv. 

“Because you're  _ my _ dirty, rotten, inconsiderately selfish monster of a girl who's trying her best to handle her feelings without hurting anyone in the process,” he answers simply, his arm around her giving a quick squeeze before she lets out a defeated sigh. 

“....I have to hurt someone, don't I?” 

“You're going to hurt them both,” he tells her honestly, “but that's just how it works out sometimes. Everyone is gonna get hurt. Don't beat yourself up too much about it, though. We're teenagers. What do we do that isn't stupid?” 

Maya forms a sad smile, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek and wrapping her arms around him to the best of her ability for a hug. “We pick the absolute best best friends in the entire universe.” 

He smirks down, popping a cheeto into her mouth before she can say anything else too sappy. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. I'm the greatest.” 

“Don't get too cocky, I'm still not above murder,” Maya warns, the corner of her lips tugging up to match his expression before he feeds her another snack. “Tearing limbs and all that cute stuff.”

“Aw,  _ there's _ my little homicidal freak out to play. For a second, I thought I'd never see her again.” 

“Shut up, dumbass.”

xxxx

The only thing he asks when she comes clean about Missy is if she loves him. She reveals every kiss, every touch, every moment too close to someone else, and all he fucking asks is if she loves him. 

“Of course, I do, Lucas. Why would you even ask me that?” 

“Because I love you, too. I'm going to be gone in a little less than two weeks, and I love you so much that I don't want to be upset.”

Jesus Christ, she doesn't deserve him. 

xxxx

His lips are rougher against her collarbone than Missy’s were, his hands much larger than what made her cry out before, and she really tries to say his name when she  _ finally _ reaches her high, but she knows it won't happen so she calls out for the lord instead. 

Maybe that'll keep her out of hell. 

xxxx

They break up officially the second he boards his plane, but it goes without saying. He promises to visit, but they both know it isn't going to happen. She says she'll call, but they both know that she won't. When he kisses her the morning after and they share one last ‘I love you’, it's done. 

The promise ring that he bought her for her last birthday gets shoved into the back of her jewelry box, and she climbs into bed wondering when Charlie will be over to rub her back while she cries. 

xxxx

“I love him so much, Charlie. I love him so much, and now he's gone.”

“I know, M. It's going to be okay.”

“Do you promise?” 

“With everything I have.”

xxxx

It takes Maya two weeks to leave the house for more than school, even malingering her way out of a few cheer practices, but she doesn't really have a choice when Sandy’s birthday rolls around. She begrudgingly emerges from beneath her covers, showers for roughly an hour, and makes her first public appearance since the breaking of her heart at Cassie’s Diner for the party. 

They don't typically spend a lot of time there, seeing as Sandy has a general manager to handle the day to day business, but when they do, Maya is usually equipped with Charlie on her arm so that she doesn't sit and drink away her self pity in milkshake after milkshake. 

He can't make it, though- spending the weekend in California with his dad for some reunion- and so Missy adopts the role in order to prevent a chocolate-banana overdose.

(It happened in the seventh grade, and it wasn't pretty.)

“Y’know, if I were to call Charlie right now to tell him that you're doing this, he'd yell at you,” Missy speaks, coyly sliding herself onto the barstool beside the sulking blonde. 

“Isn't Isadora here? Shouldn't you be bothering her?” Maya asks, searching the room to find Missy’s own best friend tucked away in a corner booth, laughing playfully at a boy who is staring at her like she's the sun in his sky. 

“Izzy’s a bit distracted,” Missy shrugs before snatching Maya’s glass to steal a sip. “Plus, I never could resist having a taste of your regular order, silly little habit from when we were kids, I guess.” 

Maya rolls her eyes and looks up to see Shawn giving her a questioning thumbs up from across the counter, her mother bantering away with Sandy and a few other friends they'd picked up around town over the years. She returns it with a small smile, returning her gaze to Missy who seems just as concerned. 

“So, how're you holding up since…” she trails, not exactly sure how to cover the topic. 

“I'm okay,” Maya assures, frowning slightly and staring into her cup as she swirls her melting treat with her straw. “Sorry I've missed dinner lately. I haven't really been feeling up for much. Tonight's helping, though. I desperately needed to get out of the house.” 

Missy hesitantly cups her hand to Maya’s knee, squeezing it before standing up. “Well, my place is always available. If you need to get out or anything, I mean. Or not. It's just there for you if you want it or need it- but don't feel obligated because I'm offering- I won't be offended if you don't come over, I just…” Her cheeks tint crimson when she realizes how badly she's babbling on. “Do you wanna help me get my mom’s cake from the freezer in back?” 

Maya can't help but laugh, bearing her teeth in a grin when she nods. “I'd love to.”

xxxx

Their fourth (Or fifth? Or sixth? She doesn’t know.) kiss happens after they've cleaned up the clutter around the diner and the sun is peeking out to begin rising, the girls tucked securely into Missy’s bed after a long night with their parents, friends, and family. They're in a loopy sort of hypnagogic state when one of them leans in- they're not exactly sure who- and closes the gap between them, no hushed apologies needed now that Lucas is miles away. 

They whisper goodnight, and, within seconds, they’re softly snoring. Their limbs intertwined, they curl as much into each other as possible, and Maya doesn't dream about her ex for the first time in nearly fifteen days. 

xxxx

For Maya’s birthday, Charlie gives her four new phone cords, three cheesy scrapbooks of all the adventures they've had since her last celebration, two shirts to match with him when he follows her to Disney in order to assist in loading and unloading the buses come February (because they’re definitely going to make it into the National High School Cheerleading Championship), and one smug ass look that she flicks off his lips when he sees just how closely her and Missy sit during dinner. 

xxxx

“Did you have a nice birthday?” Missy asks, plopping down onto Maya’s mattress that night and rolling to lay beside her. 

“Yeah,” Maya beams, softly sighing when Missy tucks her head under her chin. 

“Good because I have one more present to give you,” Missy teases, tilting her neck so that she starts to whisper against Maya’s pulse. “And I feel like you'll really like it.”

“Hm?” Maya asks, but a smirk draws to her lips when she feels Missy working languid kisses against her collarbone, tugging at the neckline of her shirt to expose more skin. They hadn't exactly slept together after that night following the party at Cassie’s, but they'd definitely become more handsy and it wasn't exactly surprising for their lips to find each other when secluded. “If I didn't know any better, Ms. Bradford, I'd say you're trying to seduce me.”

Missy pulls away, sliding her knee up Maya’s inner thigh until she's met with a gasp. “And do you know any better?” She quirks a brow, challenging Maya to speak from beneath her as her fingers carefully slide the hem of her own top above her head, discarding it before she starts to work her touch against Maya’s ribcage. 

The blonde shakes her head, laughing sweetly as she weaves her hands into Missy’s hair to pull her closer.

“Let's find out.”

xxxx

_ It's sex, and it's only sex _ . Maya tells herself the first night it happens. 

_ It doesn't mean anything more. _ And the second. 

_ It's to eliminate stress _ . And the third. 

_ It's because we were both lonely and it's convenient. _ And the fourth. 

_ Feelings aren't going to be an issue. _ And each time after that. 

xxxx

“So, you're telling me that you didn't only do the do with Princess Bradford, but it's also happening regularly because you've formed this weird friends with benefits thing since you kissed again?” 

“Charlie, I swear to god if you say something annoying, I will hang up.”

“I fucking told you so! God, you're such a cliché, I can't believe you're actually-”  _ Click _ . “Wait… M? You weren't actually serious. C’mon, Hart, lighten up. Are you there? ...Goddamn it, Maya.”

xxxx

On a Saturday morning, Shawn Patrick Hunter takes Maya Penelope Hart to a jewelry shop in the center of the city and, together, they pick out a ring. 

Exactly twenty eight hours later, he gets down on one knee and Katy Hart promises her hand in a marriage to bind the three of them together as a family once and for all. 

Maya wonders if love really is as hopeless as she once thought. 

xxxx

They make it to the NHSCC at Disney, and that is where Charlie meets Madeline Acosta, the very first love of his life. She lives in Pennsylvania, which isn't exactly close, but it's close enough that after he takes pictures with Maya and her squad giggling with their trophy, he's immediately sprinting across the park to find Maddie and her own team celebrating their third place title against Abigail South’s Eagles.

Charlie takes her to a little restaurant that Maya didn't pay much attention to the name of, she only really knows that he's ditching dinner with her, and so the abandoned blonde mopes in her hotel room for exactly two hours and seventeen minutes before she receives a call from Missy. 

“Okay, so I refused to check anything online before you told me what happened- so just lay it on me, Hart- Did you win or did you win?” Missy eagerly bursts from the other line as soon as Maya picks up. 

“We won,” Maya brags meekly, a pout on her lips as she looks around at her vacant space. The rest of her squad was off swimming, but she'd only made plans with Charlie, so she didn't bother leaving with them. It wasn't until everyone was gone and he stopped in before changing for his date that she realized she would be spending the night alone. “First in our division, isn't that great?” 

“Why don't you sound excited?” Missy inquires curiously, “Why do you sound all broody? Where’s Charlie, shouldn't you be partying? Obnoxiously posing with your trophy all around Disney? You're only there for so long, Maya, why isn't he taking you out?”

“Because he's taking  _ Madeline  _ out,” Maya spits much bitterly than she attended, “We had plans, but he cancelled them after everyone else had already left so that he could go out with this girl- which I don't even mind all that much because he really seems to like her and she's actually cool- but I just… He was supposed to spend the night with me and he didn't tell me he wasn't until it was too late and I'm the loser stuck in the room with a cup of ramen and no one to do anything with because her best friend decided to fall in love with the prettiest girl on a rival team.” 

It's all let out in one huff, a breath let out long enough for Missy to conjure up a plan to cheer the other girl up. “Okay, give me like two minutes,” she declares, disconnecting before Maya let's out another sigh. 

Maya angrily stabs at her noodles, glaring down as she mutters something about Missy leaving her, too, and the ultimate fate that she's never going to pick up her phone ever again for the annoying shit that just hung up on her. She finishes about a quarter of her meal before Missy rings back, this time requesting to facetime. 

“What do you want?” Maya pouts with furrowed brows, earning a chuckle from Missy and a demand to prop her phone up. She obliges reluctantly, her angry look faltering when she notices Missy’s own cup of ramen she made to match. 

Missy shrugs nonchalantly. “I figured that if Charlie could have dinner with the most beautiful girl on his rival team, why can't I?” she states as if it's the most obvious motive in the world. “Besides, I can screenshot plenty of your stupid poses with your damn trophy for the scrapbook he's bound to give you. We don't need him for a fun night.” 

Her entire demeanor cracks at Missy’s successful plot to cheer her up, a small grin breaking out when the brunette obnoxiously slurps up her first noodle. 

“God, you're such a  _ nerd _ .” 

xxxx

“Charles...Marlie 2.0 won't be the end of the original Marlie, will it?”

“Maya, there's no Marlie 2.0. You're the only M to my -arlie that will ever be, okay?” 

“But what about Madeline and her perfectly crafted M?” 

“She'll simply have to be the -adeline to my Ch, I guess.” 

“Charlie… Chadeline is so  _ ugly _ .” 

“It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make to preserve the sacred grounds of our friendiversary.” 

“Oh god, you really  _ do _ love me, don't you?” 

“Maybe a little too much.”

xxxx

The first time that she and Lucas hold a proper conversation since their breakup, it spirals into an argument. 

“God, Maya, I made time out of my day to call you and all you can give me is one worded answers?! Honestly, we dated for four years. You were my best friend, and you can't even talk to me?!”

“Oh,” Maya scoffs, “Thank you, your highness, for gracing me with your call! If you're going to be an ass, you can just fuck off, Lucas.” 

“You know that's not what I- Jesus, Maya,  _ I miss you _ . Why can't you just talk to me? Why do I feel like I'm holding a conversation with myself?” Lucas pleads for answers, his tone growing more desperate each second. 

The thing is that her and Lucas has never particularly been in a fight before. After watching her parents go through what she did, she immediately shut down at the slightest tenseness between her and her ex boyfriend throughout their entire relationship; exactly her plan now as well. 

“Look, I have to go,” she mumbles, almost cringing as his sharp intake in response. 

“Don't you ever get tired, Maya? Honestly, don't you ever get sick of this?” He begs again, this time for something Maya’s not sure she can even help him figure out. 

“Of what?” 

He exhales deeply, and she can almost see the miserable look on his face when he utters out his next words. “Don't you ever get tired of hiding?”

Her breath hitches at his question, bottom lip carefully being tugged beneath her teeth as she battles to stay composed. “I… I hope you're having a good time back home or whatever. I'll talk to you soon.” 

“Maya, stop-” 

The rush of oxygen with the dial tone reminds her that maybe some people just aren't meant to be firsts in the lifetime they're in, no matter how badly they wish for it. 

xxxx

When summer rolls around, Charlie spends almost all of his time in Pennsylvania visiting with Maddie, and she gets it- really, she does- because they're about to be seniors and he swears he's in love, and he doesn't only visit her, she comes to their little suburb, too, so it's alright. She promises him that it's alright. 

Consequently, she starts keeping herself in Missy’s company when Charlie isn't around. Missy doesn't mind- Isadora graduated last year, at the top of the class preceding her own, and she's at a summer internship for pre-med students with this world renowned surgeon that Maya has never heard of- so she's pretty much open aside from the daily Skype calls they try to work into their routines, which only makes it that much easier for it to become habit to find the girls together. 

Their instagrams slowly filled with one another, their snapchat stories full of dumb pranks or lazy mornings poking at each other’s faces while they slept, any tagged post on facebook was by one of the girls’ parents documenting every meal, movie, and night out they experienced; it was terrifying how well Maya found that she fit with Missy. 

Hell, even previously sacred game nights became a battle over a makeshift Monopoly board disguised as Chutes and Ladders between Maya, Missy, Charlie, and Maddie on the weekends that her best friend’s girlfriend was in town, and even when she wasn't, Shawn and Katy took their place in a pre-approved game. 

Missy was swallowing her whole, and she honestly couldn't find a good enough reason to resist. 

xxxx

Isadora visits for two weekends each month, always coincidentally alternating Charlie while he's wrapped up in Madeline, and every Saturday that she's around, Missy drags Maya bowling with her own best friend and Isadora’s boyfriend, Samuel. 

It's almost surprising how unlike he and Isadora are because he's the stereotypical definition of a jock- a potential frat leader, even- and she's… well, not. She's an awarded scholar in a teen’s body, but apparently they've been in love for years so Maya doesn't question it, only grins when he insists that she call him Sam and sneaks off with her to find the arcade when their dates aren't watching. 

(In the most of generic of terms because her nights out with Missy are absolutely, positively in  _ no way on this fucking planet _ dates.) 

xxxx

“Honey, I'm home,” Missy grins as she climbs into Maya’s window. She'd just bid Isadora goodbye on her journey back to school, breaking and entering into the familiar bedroom for a surprise visit as the tiny figure she’s seeking is just tucking into bed. 

“What are you doing here?” Maya’s nose scrunches, a messy bun getting tied at the top of her head. “Aren't you dropping Smacklestein off at her fancy shmancy wherever she's going?” 

“ _ Pre-med internship _ ,” Missy corrects, quietly shutting the window before stepping over towards the bed. “Besides, I was just walking her to the car before she left. I told you that.” She obnoxiously strides closer, the heels she’d struggled with up the fire escape finally catching Maya’s attention when she pauses and tugs on the hem of her lengthy peacoat. 

“Were we supposed to go out tonight?” Blue eyes trail from the ground up, catching Missy’s sly smirk and clouding with even more confusion. 

“No…” Missy shrugs innocently with a deep tone, scuffing the toe of her shoe on Maya’s floor and unfastening the very top button on her jacket. “I just was thinking about how great tonight was with Izzy and her boyfriend, and how you worked so hard on getting along so,  _ so _ well.” 

Maya stiffens, sitting up in her bed and swinging her legs off the edge to dangle at the questionable scene. As the neckline of Missy’s cover slowly begins to dip lower and lower, Maya can't help but feel underdressed. She'd slipped on the first baggy shirt she found that seemed decently clean as soon as removing her makeup after walking through the door, quite the contrast to this show Missy had put together. 

“And I wanted to…” The brunette lets the sleeve fall off her shoulder as she strips, revealing the lace stitching of a bra Maya had never seen before because she would surely fucking remember Missy in  _ that _ . “ _...thank you _ .” 

Maya’s breath catches in her throat when the coat finally bunches on the ground, exposing  smooth olive skin beneath a matching maroon set that Missy had apparently put on entirely for her. “Y-you don't have to thank me. I mean-” In one swift motion, Missy climbs onto her lap, adjusting them so she can guide Maya onto her back. “-fuck, Missy, did you come here to kill me?” she snaps almost breathlessly, staring up at coyly grinning lips just as they release a soft giggle. 

“Of course, I didn't,” Missy coos, her hands placed on either side of Maya’s head to balance her on her quest to hover above the other girl. “I just want to thank you. Do you not like your gift for behaving yourself?” She bats her eyelashes and Maya thinks for sure that she couldn't be any more wrapped around her damn finger. 

(Well, right up until she feels Missy humming into a soft kiss at the base of her jaw because, fuck, is she a fucking goner for that fucking spot and those fucking lips and the fucking fingertips exploring her.) 

She contemplates if she should even attempt to save her ass with a refusal, remaining idle under Missy’s spell that was getting increasingly more difficult to resist at each nip made. 

“You were just so,  _ so _ good,” Missy whispers against Maya’s collarbone, one of her hands sliding down to roam against the pale skin hiding beneath one of Lucas’s old shirts. 

Maya fumbles for a response, her brain overloading at the thought she'd even consider rejecting a lingerie clad cheerleader touching her with a sultry smirk, clumsily nodding as a reply. She whimpers when contact is loss, Missy pausing her praise to lean back and pull Maya’s face towards her own. 

Once it turns into an actual kiss, a mess of tongues and teeth and Missy slipping her hand into golden locks to tug so she can assert her dominance when Maya tries to take control, the blonde ultimately decides that any idea besides submitting to her assertive partner would be a pathetic excuse of a lost cause, and her pride was not worth what she knew Missy could give her. 

“And when you're such a good girl, you get a reward,” Missy taunts wickedly, her nails teasingly scraping against the inside of Maya’s thigh. “Don't you like being good for me, baby?”

And with the moans Maya releases between the nods of her head at the demanding tone ringing through her ears, she's not even sure her pride  _ exists  _ anymore. 

xxxx

“So, what you're telling me is that Maya Penelope Hart is a  _ bottom _ ?!” Charlie snorts, laughing so hard that tears are starting to form in his eyes. “Holy shit, you're totally whipped. You're totally-” His eyes snap down to his buzzing phone. “Oh fuck, that's Maddie.” 

“Right,” Maya glares, “ _ I'm  _ totally whipped.”

xxxx

“So, you and Missy have been getting awfully close, huh?” Katy works into their conversation, mixing together a dressing for the salad Maya held a knife to chop vegetables for. 

“Yeah?” Maya questions casually, moving to the fridge to pull out a few tomatoes. “You've thrown us at each other since we could basically walk. I don't know why it's so surprising.”

“Well,” her mother persists coyly, “You just seem… I don't know?  _ Extra  _ close?” 

“What're you getting at here?” 

Katy is quick to shrug. “Oh nothing, Cass just mentioned that she saw you two…  _ canoodling _ the other day, and I was wondering if you had anything to tell me.”

“Canoodling?” Maya chortles, rolling her eyes. “Oh my god, Mom, enough. We've canoodled a handful of times. We're teenage girls and our best friends are MIA this summer.” 

“You just both seem so awfully  _ invested _ in this canoodl-”

“ _ Mom.  _ Calm down.”

xxxx

They plan for a movie weekend while Sandy is out of state for some convention involving the diner; a quiet event that wasn't too far off from their typical plans except they wouldn't be tucked away in the bedrooms making out, they could do it right out in the open when home alone, so, hauling all of the popcorn she could stuff into her purse from her cabinets, Maya wanders towards the kitchen that Friday night, the clatter of bowls rattling against the ground alerting her to where she needed to go.

She can't fight the grin tugging at her lips when she sees Missy fumbling around with ingredients for some type of treat- maybe a cake? Maya thinks she sees cocoa powder out- and she tiptoes towards the baker at work, her arms easily sliding around the taller girl’s waist from behind as she presses her lips against Missy’s shoulder blade. 

Missy hums in response, a content smile breaking out while she drops what she's doing to rest her hands over Maya’s so that she can hold them in place. “You weren't supposed to be here for another hour. I was making you brownies.” 

“I knew it was something chocolate,” Maya brags, reaching forward and dipping her pointer finger into the bowl of batter. She swirls it around until she's satisfied with the amount that she's scooped, launching it into her mouth with a satisfied moan. “Y’know what, I think this batter is defective. It won't bake correctly. I better just eat it- we wouldn't want it to go to waste, would we?” 

Missy smacks Maya’s forearm when she tries to steal some more. “Stop it! You're gonna get sick, and I'm going to have to spend this entire weekend taking care of you when we could be doing far better things.” 

“Oh, shut up,” Maya snorts, sliding to Missy’s side to bump her hip, knocking her over enough to grab hold of the mixing spoon. “You’re overreacting,” she tells her between licks for emphasis. “I’ll be fine.”

xxxx

She eats over half of the bowl, and she is most definitely  _ not _ fine. 

Missy makes sure that Maya understands that she owes the fuck out of her for ruining their weekend all alone in her house as she nurses her annoying little dipshit back to health. 

xxxx

Maya slips up on a Wednesday, and she calls Missy ‘ _ baby _ ’ after falling asleep during some cooking show they'd found on Netflix. 

Affectionate names aren't a typical between them. Sure, Maya and Missy throw a few insulting cusses each other’s way when they tease, but they're never as endearing as the ones you would hear in adoring relationships. Those are only really reserved for the bedroom, or things that should occur in the bedroom that they did in some public bathrooms from time to time, and so Missy is rightfully thrown when Maya uses the term. She has every reason to feel as high as the farthest galaxy when Maya sleepily mumbles, “Baby, turn down the TV,” against her chest, cuddling closer into her hoodie while drifting in and out of consciousness. She swears that Maya has never fucking sounded so adorable in their almost thirteen years of friendship, and so she has no choice but to appease. 

“What was that?” Missy asks in hopes to hear it repeated. She beams at the tiny grunt Maya comes out with. 

“ _ Baby _ , stop being mean to me,” she grumbles childishly, her lips forming a pout that Missy dips down to kiss away. 

“I'm so sorry,” she whispers out, Maya’s frown completely disappearing after their lips part, “go back to sleep.” Maya is already practically out cold by the time she finishes her sentence, but it's so cute that Missy can't find it in herself to care.

“Mhm, nigh’ nigh’,” Maya mumbles almost inaudibly. 

Missy strokes her hair in acknowledgment. “Sweet dreams, babe.”

xxxx

The weekend before school is set to pick back up, Katy and Maya go shopping to select Katy’s wedding dress. It's a big event, one Maya never thought she would take part in, and when she gets home that night, she cries harder than she ever has before because recovery makes you act in funny ways sometimes. 

Shawn is the one that hears her, stumbling in to let her know he'd be in the living room while her mother runs out to grab dinner, and so he plants himself next to her on the edge of her worn mattress and he holds her until she settles enough to speak. 

“You treat us well,” she tells him, her head tucked into his shirt just enough to break his heart. “You’re very good to us, and I don't want you to leave.” She hasn't said much to him in weeks, preoccupied with cheer beginning again, and this is really the first time they've been alone practically the whole summer considering she's rarely without Charlie or Missy or whoever else is clinging to her every breath, and so he panics. He freezes up, and she can feel his back go straight and the air snatch from his lungs when she speaks without thought. “When my dad left, I never thought I would get another one. Yeah, Charlie’s parents are great, and Missy’s parents act as if I'm their own, but I never thought  _ I _ would get another dad, and here you are.”

There's a bite to the hopeful edge in her voice, crystal eyes steady on the ground when she confesses her feelings. “You fit perfectly with us, though. And you treat me and Mom better than my father ever did, and I love you for that, Patty. I love you for all that you are to my family and for all that you do for us.” 

“I love you, too, Penny,” Shawn whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of her skull with a sincere smile she can practically hear. 

“Please don't break us,” she begs. 

“I wouldn't dare.”

xxxx

There's a field in the heart of town, right near the community center, that Maya and Missy both decide to hold their respective practices on; the Eagles taking Monday and Wednesday, the Raiders getting Tuesday and Thursday, and both squads sharing Friday afternoons before games for a little refresher.

“Y’know, this whole ‘staying last to shower before meeting everyone at school in uniform’ thing isn't our best cover,” Maya teases, propped up against the lockers with Missy’s hand pulling her leg around the taller girl’s waist from beneath her right thigh. 

“Shut up,” Missy mutters against the blonde’s lips, a soft groan she earns when moving towards her jawline echoing through the empty locker rooms. She smirks, biting down once she reaches her pulse point to hear her name against the walls. “We are in public, you've really got to watch your volume, babe, or you'll get us caught.” 

Maya gasps when she feels fingertips sliding lower and lower against her hipbones, spelling out strings of mindless letters towards the center of her thighs. “Well, maybe if you got your fucking hand out of my shorts, I'd be able to keep it a little quieter,” she grits out, her head lulling back against the metal doors as she fights to keep her voice down. 

“Oh, did you want me to stop?” Missy threatens smugly, slowly retracting her hand before Maya reaches out immediately to hold it in place. 

“Don't you fucking  _ dare _ .”

xxxx

“I think you like her,” Charlie shrugs over dinner, chomping away at the Chinese that Maya’s mom had ordered them before heading to work. 

“ _ Like her _ ?” Maya scoffs, looking from her phone to her best friend before busting into a fit of laughs. “Yeah, right, Charlie! Like I would  _ ever  _ like  _ Bratford _ of all people.”

Charlie rolls his eyes, shoveling another bite into his mouth before pointing to the device that she's already focused on again, grinning towards like an idiot. “Who are you texting?” 

Maya glares back because he knows exactly who she's talking to. “Your mom,” she retorts childishly, turning her attention to her untouched plate. “You're such a fucking dick, ya know that? I don't like her.”

Charlie only chuckles, nodding just to ease her attitude. “Of course not, M.”

xxxx

Lucas calls her every few weeks. She knows that it's practically only a courtesy, but it's still nice. She likes to close her eyes and focus in on his voice, clinging to her very first love like there's no one in the world that will get her like he did, even if he didn't really at all. 

He asks her about school, their sports, Charlie’s well being, everything that they'd discuss on her bedroom floor before he left when he'd catch a virus and she’d fill him in on daily adventures. He brings up her mother and Shawn and even Charlie’s girlfriend, but never Missy, and she wonders if that's on purpose. 

“Have you been seeing anyone?” Maya wonders, twirling a piece of her hair between her thumb and forefinger. 

“Uh, no. Not since you back in New York,” he discloses. “I haven't really felt that connection with anyone yet.” The line goes silent for a few seconds before he inhales sharply. “I've… um, I've noticed you've been spending a lot of time with Missy since I've been gone. You guys are practically the only thing on each other’s, well… everything.” 

Maya lets out a nervous dismissal. “Oh, yeah. Well, Isadora was MIA most of the summer, and Charlie was all over his girl, so we just kind of gravitated towards each other, I guess. I didn't know that you kept up with her accounts and stuff.”

“It's the only way I see your smile anymore,” he mutters unintentionally, quickly shutting those thoughts down with an anxiously obnoxious cough. “I have to go help with dinner, though, so I'll catch you later?” 

“Of course,” Maya answers quickly. “Tell Mama Friar I say hello?” 

“Always,” Lucas promises solemnly. “I miss you, Shortstack.” 

“I miss you, too, Huckleberry,” she whispers back, struggling to keep her voice composed. “I'm sorry… that things ended up how they did, that I hurt you before you left.”

“Don't apologize. Just… look, I'm coming back. I talked to my family, and after graduation, I'm coming back for college, so just… I'm not asking you to wait for me, just…” 

Her mind jolts when he fumbles for words, flashes of firsts and firsts and firsts in her head when she impulsively pipes out, “I'll wait. Don’t be stupid, Lucas. I'll wait.”

She can hear his smile when he lets the air out of his lungs, and it crushes her. “I love you, Maya.” 

“So much that you don't want to be upset?” She guesses, mimicking the words he'd told her when she confessed all of her mistakes to him before. 

“Even more than that,” he tells her. Her heart swells in her chest.

She says it back- she's always going to say it back- and she hangs up with tears slipping down her cheeks because they're not even together and she still doesn't fucking deserve him. 

xxxx

“Maya, you would tell me if anything were going on with you and Missy, right?”

“Yes, Mom.” 

“Do you swear? Because I only gave you the safe sex talk for boys and I just need to-”

“ **_Mom_ ** _.” _

xxxx

Maya tells Missy that she thinks they should post less of each other on social media, that she thinks Lucas is being hurt by it, and Missy hesitates when she agrees. 

What should she care if the cowboy is butthurt she spends time with Maya? 

_ “Please, just try to make it a little less of me, Missy?”  _

Why is Lucas even relevant anymore? Of course, she's going to do it because  _ Maya's _ asking her to, but why is he so important? 

“ _ It's just complicated.” _

Why does she matter less? Why are her feelings less valid? Are they supposed to stop sleeping together now? Stop sharing so much time with each other?

“ _ I don't want things to become complicated between us for this.” _

When haven't things been complicated between her and Maya?

_ “I can't keep hurting him.” _

xxxx

“Jealousy isn't cute on you,” Charlie sings from the other side of her mattress, absentmindedly strumming on her guitar while she furiously watches Isadora’s snapchat story. 

“She's on a  _ date _ !” Maya cries out, tapping violently to skip through the videos of Missy laughing particularly loudly. “A fucking  _ date _ , Charlie! With some stupid ass boy that Isadora said wanted to go bowling with Missy and her and fucking Samuel! It's his friend! God, I can't stand that asshole.”

“M,” her best friend chuckles, “You love that dude. You said that if you weren't my platonic soulmate, you'd swear you were his.” 

“Well, that was before he decided to make stupid friends named Chase who have things for gorgeous cheerleaders who they wanna take out. _Especially_ _mine_ ,” Maya growls, watching Missy celebrate her spare through her phone screen for the nth time that night. 

“What did you just call her?” Charlie grins expectantly, knowing his victory is inevitable in the conversation. 

“ _ Mine _ . She's  _ my  _ gorgeous cheerleader, so why does he go around thinking he can just date whoever the fuck he wants to date! What a self entitled, egotistical dick! He can't just take whoever he wants bowling. Do you know why he can't, Charles?” 

“Because she's yours?”

“Because she's mine!” 

(It takes her roughly twenty minutes of yelling to realize that Missy isn't actually hers in any sort of way.) 

xxxx

“Fuck. I like her, don't I, Gardner?” 

“Oh yeah.” 

“I've got to go sit at her place until she gets home so that I can tell her that I like her, don't I?” 

“I'll go get my keys.” 

xxxx

It takes exactly fourteen seconds for Missy to walk into her bedroom and for Maya to bolt from the bed and pin her against her door. 

“What the fu-” she tries to scowl, hissing when the wood bites into her back and she's met with Maya’s lips, her fingers threading into dark hair so she can hold Missy even closer. 

“I don't want you to go on dates,” Maya declares, parting their mouths seconds later to make her case. “I don't want you to see you with anyone else.” 

Missy’s eyebrows bunch. “You were the one who told me that-” 

“ _ No _ ,” Maya persists, her eyes locking with Missy’s before she continues. “I don't want you to be with anyone else.”

Missy is practically breathless at the confession, her mind almost numb from everything she's processing. “Maya, I don't get what you're… You said that you didn't want it to be complicated, so I told Izzy that I’d-” 

Maya shakes her head, tugging Missy by the fabric of her shirt into another kiss and leading her towards the bed. They tumble onto the comforter, Maya taking the lead by pressing Missy against her blankets. She lets it get as far as nearly all of their clothes piling on the floor before she speaks again.

“I don't want you with anybody else. No one else gets to see you like this, only I do,” she orders, her hands meeting to unclasp Missy’s bra. “No one gets to hear you like this...touch you like this,” Maya instructs, more dominance in her tone than Missy had ever experienced before. “Only me. Do you understand?”

Missy nods shamelessly, eager to submit to the harsh delivery of words. 

“Say my name,” Maya demands, scraping her nails down Missy’s sides and smirking at the sound of “ _ Maya”  _ struggling to make it out between whimpers. “You're  _ mine _ , and I'm going to make sure that you and anyone that wants to come near you knows exactly who you belong to. Got that, princess?” Missy bites her lip to tone down her volume, trying to conceal their actions in some way while her mother sleeps only a few doors down the hall. 

Maya comes to the conclusion that the stupid double date that Missy went on wasn't the  _ worst _ thing that could've happened that night.

xxxx

“So, you told her that you like her?” Charlie asks from his end of the phone when Maya calls him. 

“ _ Well _ …” Maya mumbles, eyes locked on the bathroom’s closed door as she waits for Missy. 

“You're in her bed, aren't you?” Charlie asks incredulously. “You didn't even tell her, did you? I bet you just decided that you'd only fuck each other. I bet you just attacked her as soon as she walked in, not clearing up any actual issues.” Her silence confirms his accusations. “What the hell am I going to do with you, M?” 

Maya hears the turning of Missy’s doorknob, grinning in a satisfied manner before tugging her bottom lip between her teeth when seeing Missy stepping her way back to bed. Her eyes rake over the large sweater that she’d pulled on her bare body before climbing to go and wash her face, and she wonders just how quickly she could manage to get the brunette out of it if she were to hang up the phone. “Pick me up at ten for a super Sunday breakfast?” she ponders innocently. 

“Mm, breakfast?” Missy yawns, swiftly sliding to her side below her headboard. 

“I mean  _ us _ for breakfast?” Maya pleads. 

Charlie groans. “You're so lucky I love you.” 

“I love you even more, Charles.”

“ _ Oh, tell him I love him, too _ .”

“And Missy loves you the most! Text me when you're leaving in the AM,” Maya beams, bidding him goodnight before ending the call and rolling over to work away the offending article of clothing, a content hum in her throat when she hears Missy’s breathy giggles at her touch. 

xxxx

Charlie insists and insists and  _ insists  _ that she and Missy should work out a label of some sort beyond exclusive fuck buddies, but Maya doesn't see the point when they're perfectly happy with the noncommittal commitment they have going on. 

She thinks that being in love has turned him even softer, and he thinks that she's absolutely insane. 

xxxx

“Maddie’s homecoming is the twentieth,” Charlie coyly slips into their conversation as Maya mindlessly doodles in her sketchbook. “Same as Abby North’s, if you're looking for somewhere to be that weekend with a certain girl that you're  _ obsessed  _ with…” 

Maya is quick to swing her arm at him, her palm slamming on the back of her dining room chair when he dodges her attack. 

“I am  _ not  _ obsessed with her, you dick,” she growls, pulling her knee towards her core to kick his side. It has enough force to knock him onto the ground and she laughs at the bruise he's going to have on his ass when he wakes up tomorrow. 

(She asks Missy- even though she is absolutely, positively  _ not  _ obsessed with her- and the brunette gleefully accepts, planning their color scheme for their dresses before Maya can even fully get the offer out.)

xxxx

The biggest football event in their personal suburgatory dot on the map is the crosstown classic of varsity games, pinning the rival schools against each other in one field. Fortunately, it's Missy’s this year, which means the fact that Maya was already on that side of town when preparations began seems completely logical to all their peers. 

(She sometimes thanks god their town isn't filled with the brightest youth.) 

It goes fairly smoothly, a neck to neck competition that results in Abigail North taking the win by a single field goal- but that's not what the girls are focused on. They anxiously sit through each quarter, perform halftime, give the fucking show of a lifetime to their crowd; all of it so that they can sneak away afterwards into the school to  _ finally  _ get some fucking time alone because their usual afternoon quickie was painfully interrupted by the Eagles’ football coach asking what they were doing near the field before the cheerleaders were required to report.  Missy rambles something about double checking that routines weren't cross contaminating and Maya rolls her eyes when she agrees because ‘ _ That sounded fucking ridiculous, Bratford!’  _ and ‘ _ Did you have anything better, asshole?!’ _ . 

Missy has keys because the locker rooms need to be open, but they're not fucking idiots, so they stealthily pad to the library that Missy  _ knows _ will be vacant so that they can pick up where they left off hours ago. 

“We only have like ten minutes until our parents are going to be searching,” Maya warns, dipping her hand beneath the stitching of Missy’s top when she’s pressed firmly to a bookcase. 

“You don’t think I can get the job done in ten minutes?” Missy scoffs, quirking a brow. 

“Ten? Maybe. The five you'd need to take in order for us to actually collect ourselves before looking our mothers in the eyes? Absolutely not,” the blonde deadpans in response. 

“Bet?” Missy dares, her eyes growing a shade darker when she sinks to her knees, blinking up innocently.

xxxx

“Fair enough,” Maya pants exactly three minutes later, pinning her bow back into her freshly tied ponytail. She smirks devilishly when she roughly lunges in, capturing Missy's lips and wasting no time to unzip her skirt, letting it fall before her hands slide down everything keeping her from touching the skin below her rival’s waist. 

“I totally think I can do it in two, though,” she laughs, swallowing the moan she receives in response.

(She's right, but Missy insists that it’s only because she got worked up from the way Maya spoke her name between a flow of cuss words when she came. 

Maya tells her not to be such a sore loser.)

xxxx

It takes the dynamic duo of Penny and Patty less than a week to assemble a master plan to get Katy to let them adopt a dog. Shawn finds a lost dog while in Rhode Island one weekend, and after exchanging photos with Maya every five minutes until the owner appeared to reclaim their lost pet, it's decided that the Hart-Hunter residence  _ needs  _ the touch of man’s best friend. 

_ “The Top Three Reasons (Only Three Because You’d Yell At Us If We Take Too Long) Why We Should Get a Dog by Maya Penelope Hart and Shawn Patrick Hunter,”  _ Maya reads from a stack of flashcards, standing beside Shawn (who holds his own script in his hands) as her mom stares from the couch with an amused look. Maya swiftly sets her laptop on the coffee table in Katy’s line of sight, a loop of various puppy photos on full screen before Shawn clears his throat and steps forward. 

“ _ Reason number one: Penny, our very own little angel, is left to her own devices a lot.”  _ Maya nods with wide eyes for emphasis. “ _ What kind of parents would we be if we did not offer companionship to our baby girl?”  _ He purses his lips dramatically, shaking his head with a hopeless sigh. “ _ It is our duty as her caregivers to shower her with support.”  _ He pats her back when she sniffles loudly, alternating places so that Maya is now closer to the couch. 

“ _ Reason number two: Sometimes this guy _ ,” she pauses to point at Shawn, “ _ gets home from a job and comes home to an  _ **_empty_ ** _ apartment. How does that make you feel, Patty _ ?” 

“ _ Quite poorly,” _ Shawn pouts, trailing his finger down his cheek to symbolize a tear. 

“ _ Ya hear that?”  _ Maya cries, “ **_Quite poorly!_ ** _ Unlucky fella. All he wants is love and a growing family of furry, adorable creatures. Mom,”  _ she deadpans, _ “as his caregivers, it is our duty to shower him with support.” _

“ _ And finally,”  _ they announce in unison, eyes glancing up from the writing in their palms, “ _ we  _ **_need_ ** _ a third member to form our music group, P to the Third- P Cubed, for short.”  _

“ _ We can't be P to the Third without a third,”  _ Maya explains matter of factly, shrugging as if it's obviously. 

“ _ Penny and Patty are only two P’s, Kates _ ,” Shawn adds convincingly, “ _ Therefore, we have a list of pre-approved names beginning with P for you to look through if you agree to this- but we’re partial to Percy. _ ”

“ _ We have also thought out all arrangements. You would not care for our dog at all, it would be purely  _ **_our_ ** _ responsibility to help us become more productive in society and to…”  _ Maya falters with her cards to flip to the next line, “... _ understand the value of caring for another life, meaning that we would learn to appreciate you more for all that you do for us because we never want you to be taken for granted.”  _

“ _ We take ya for granted, babe, _ ” Shawn frowns, “ _ and a puppy would teach us better _ .  _ This is for  _ **_you_ ** _.” _

Satisfied with their well rehearsed pitch, Maya and Shawn link hands and bow, knowing that they have it in the bag by how adoringly Katy is looking up at them. They watch as she glances between her daughter, fiancé, and the dogs on Maya’s laptop before giggling a little. 

“I think we got this,” Shawn whispers to Maya, as excited as can be. 

“I know!” Maya squeaks, squeezing his hand and smiling wide. “I'm so glad we thought of the whole ‘you wouldn't have to do a thing’ addition, that's what hooked her.” 

Katy rises from her seat, approaching her family and pressing her lips to Shawn’s cheek, then Maya’s forehead. “Our building doesn't allow dogs,” she chuckles, “but good show. You had me at the band, though, so good job. That was cute.” 

Maya and Shawn’s faces fall simultaneously as Katy exits the room, Maya’s hand flying to her forehead. “Oh god, we’re idiots.”

“How did we not check the building regulations?” Shawn mopes, plopping himself onto their loveseat and staring at the ceiling. “We were so close.” 

Maya drapes herself across her sofa, shoving her head into a pillow. “We already had him picked out.” 

xxxx

For such a talented cheerleader, Maya is most certainly not the most  _ coordinated _ girl in the world, which is exactly why she ends up in the emergency room on a bright and sunny Saturday afternoon- but it's not her fault. No, it's  _ Madeline’s  _ fault. It's entirely Madeline’s fault because she was the one who decided to come to visit Charlie on her weekend free of extra curriculars and suggest rollerskating as the activity of the day. 

Maya and Missy are already spending the day together, so when Charlie invites his best friend, it's assumed her plus one is going to tag along, and it's all fun and games until Charlie insists that he can make it around the rink quicker than Maya. 

“Oh, no, no,  _ no _ ,” Missy pleads, lunging forward as soon as she notices Maya’s challenging look and announcement that she could do laps around  _ anyone  _ in the building-  _ especially _ Charlie- and before anyone can blink twice, Maya is on the ground with a loud shriek, Charlie is tumbling over her, and Missy is grabbing her car keys. 

xxxx

It's only two matching sprains at the ends of their arms, she’ll be out of cheer for a week or two and Charlie can't play football for the same amount of time, and they can go home as soon as their paperwork is handed back. After the doctor announces the relieving news, the group of teens all let out a collective sigh of relief. 

“This is what you get,” Missy groans, watching the nurse begin to wrap Maya’s wrist after finishing Charlie’s. “What have I told you about how competitive you get?” 

“ _ What have I told you about how competitive you get? _ ” Maya mocks in a funny voice. Charlie chuckles for a second, shutting up as soon as he's met with his girlfriend’s hand to his bicep. 

“Charlie, you guys got hurt,” Maddie glares. “That's not funny.” 

Charlie purses his lips, glancing back to Maya being bandaged up. “No,” he laughs, “it's pretty hilarious. Hey, M, remember that time when we were like twelve and we watched Billy fall off of that jungle gym?” He jumps up to his best friend’s bedside, sitting next to her as they recall the day. 

“And his arm turned  _ green _ from how fucked up it got?!” Maya scoffs animatedly. “As if I could ever forget that! He had to get a rod put in there! His mom showed us the X-rays! What about when Yogi got that gnarly dog bite on his leg and we thought he had rabies?”

Missy plops herself beside Maddie in the plastic guest chairs, sighing softly as she glances up. 

“What're we going to do with them?” Maddie says under her breath, watching the pair go on and on about all the gruesome injuries they'd witnessed growing up. 

“Wrap them up and ship them somewhere too far away to give us heart attacks from their little stunts before eloping in the Bahamas?” 

Maddie lets her head fall to Missy’s shoulder, giggling softly. “Count me in.” 

xxxx

The dress that Missy wears to homecoming is the purest of white, backless with black floral accents cinching in only on her right side, and it clings to her skin tighter than anything Maya has ever seen her wear before from her chest to where it fans out when she twirls. Her hair is softly curled, and her lips are red, and, holy fuck, Maya likes her. 

Maya really, really, really likes her, and she looks pathetic next to her unearthly breathtaking date in her dumb black dress that her mom bought her last weekend because there's lace stitching that matches the flowers on Missy’s perfectly, and matching is a huge thing for the homecoming queen’s date. She unsuccessfully tries to avoid thinking about the fact that she's  _ nothing  _ compared to Missy with her smile so radiant and her step so graceful, and it's almost enough to make her want to go home and hide for the rest of her life because she’s a fucking ogre and Missy is an angel sent down-

“Jesus Christ, you're so beautiful,” Missy whispers out, completely dazed with flushed cheeks.

Missy is an angel sent down to be the death of her, and this has got to be a dream. 

(It's not a dream. Their moms take hundreds of photos to remind her that it's not, and, holy shit, she likes Missy so fucking much.)

xxxx

Isadora accompanies Sam to the event, and Maya calls her Izzy absentmindedly when begging her to dance because Missy is exhausted and Sam has  _ no _ rhythm. 

Isadora accepts, and Missy tells Maya in a hushed tone when they're ordering food from McDonalds afterwards that she's never seen her best friend accept that nickname from anyone besides herself and Sam before- not even her parents sometimes. 

Missy is elated at how much Izzy must really like her, and that only makes Maya feel just the same. 

Who wouldn't beam looking at that smile? 

xxxx

They stumble into the Bradford residence at roughly two in the morning, greasy food discarded onto Missy’s kitchen table before they become a stumbling mess of laughter, wandering hands, and giddy kisses, struggling to focus enough to make it down the hall and into their destination of Missy’s mattress. 

They don't notice Cassie watching them from the couch, completely oblivious to the adult that was supposed to be asleep as their PDA gets a little raunchy moving to the bedroom. 

xxxx

Maya is awoken the next morning by the weight of her crush jumping onto her body frantically, shaking her violently so that she opens her eyes. 

“Maya! Fuck, Maya! We have an emergency! I need you to get up right now like right this second because I really fucked up!” 

Maya groggily peeks up with one eye, wanting to be soothed by Missy’s adorable little panic but ultimately disliking the frown etched into her features. “What's wrong, babe?” she mumbles, rubbing her palms down her face and blinking a few times to adjust to the sunlight seeping through the curtains. 

“I need you to be my girlfriend,” Missy spits out, her eyes going wide when Maya chokes on her spit, completely alert now. “Not my real one, just my fake one for a little bit!” 

“Um, explain please?”

“Okay, well, I woke up and I was going to go grab us some breakfast. Some, like, bacon or something easy to eat in bed while we like cuddled or something because I didn't want to fully get up yet, but my mom was already in there and at first I didn't think twice about it because she's an early riser- whatever!- but then she starts talking about how I haven't dated anyone in a while, and I was like yeah, okay, whatever, and she kept going on about how she really wishes I would settle down and get serious with  _ someone  _ considering everyone around me has a relationship going.” Missy takes a sharp gasp before continuing her rambling. “I was like whatever about that, too, but then she just  _ wouldn't stop,  _ and then she was like  _ well everyone is with someone except Maya…. _ and apparently she was like out here or something when we got home because she mentioned how she saw us kissing and stuff and she was like  _ you're dating Maya, aren't you! _ and I just wanted her to shut up about me dating someone because she seriously had this huge speech and so I just said yes and now she's on the phone with your mom telling her that we’re together, and I just need you to be my girlfriend for a little bit, okay?”

xxxx

“So, let me get this straight, you're  _ fake dating  _ Missy now?” Charlie gapes amusedly. “You realize that if anyone at our school finds out that you're not only sleeping with the enemy, but dating her, you'll never hear the end of it, right?”

“Shut up,” Maya grits between her teeth, throwing her head into his pillow. “I couldn't say no, okay?!”

“Because you  _ like _ he- Ow! Fuck, Maya, stop hitting me!” 

xxxx

Missy thinks Maya has completely lost it when she trails thick lines of paint in the shape of her veins using multiple colors, and stamps the inside of her forearm against a clean sheet of paper that she'd stolen from her mom’s printer. She won't even tell her why, insisting that it's a surprise and forcing her to go wash up before they leave on a very special trip for the weekend. 

“You only turn eighteen once, y'know. I gotta make it memorable,” Maya grins cheekily, her artwork in one hand and the other laced with Missy’s own when she drags the birthday girl into the back of Shawn’s car with a blindfold over her eyes. 

Everything has gone unexpectedly smooth with the whole dating debacle, Shawn and Charlie being the only ones on Maya’s end to know the truth (because her mom would totally blab to Sandy) and there being little to absolutely no adjustment from how things were a week before. It's harmless as long as it's just with their family, and the single major family crisis happening from it is the long talk Katy insists on having because she thinks Maya has been lying to her for weeks about her intentions with Missy, which she can't explain hasn't been happening, and even that wasn't totally awful. She got a decent hug out of it. 

Plus, now being Missy’s ‘girlfriend’, she had free reign over her birthday weekend. She planned an entire adventure with the assistance of Shawn and Charlie, even with Charlie’s constant whining that Maya  _ never _ worked so hard for his birthdays, and she was going to give Missy the time of her life. 

Shawn drops them off at a corner in a safer part of the city, making sure that Maya’s phone is charged before taking off- the girls were raised in the suburbs, after all- and Missy is tugged into the first subway station in sight, still blind to Maya paying for them to step foot on the train and not being allowed her vision back until after they're seating in the car. 

“Okay, what the hell?” Missy asks, her brows scrunching together when she catches a glimpse of her surroundings. She turns to Maya expectantly, frowning when her only response is Maya inspecting that fucking paper with smeared paint all over it again. The blonde is completely silent the entire ride, her fingers intertwined with Missy’s the whole time and their combined limbs keeping them connected when Maya leads them out of a random stop. 

“Did you know,” Maya finally speaks up, heading towards the stairs to the city above, “rumor has it that the man who designed the pattern for the tracks to lay in these subway tunnels got his blueprint from the most beautiful girl he knew.” There's a coy smirk tugging at her lips, and Missy knows there's some dumb point to this whole kidnapping charade after all. “He painted along the transparent skin above her veins, he stamped it down on a blank sheet of paper, and suddenly every man in the city could get exactly where he was supposed to be all because of that girl.” 

Missy takes note of the unfamiliar buildings around them, already tempted to call Shawn to pick them up because they're definitely lost. “And where exactly are you supposed to be because  _ I  _ should be at home, where I am most certainly not.” 

Swiftly, Maya leans up on her tiptoes to steal a quick kiss. “I'm right next to the most beautiful girl I know,” she lifts up her makeshift map and waves it a little, “ready to find my way home with her.”

Missy can't fight her smile. “Holy shit, you're a total dork.”

xxxx

They don't find their way home- nowhere close, actually- but they manage to plant themselves in a cute little coffee shop where they call Shawn to pick them up after sharing a cupcake (and a quickie in the bathroom because, according to Missy, Maya is unbelievably hot when she's being all romantic).

xxxx

As soon as Shawn drops them back off at Maya’s apartment, they're immediately in the car again- only this time Maya is driving a loaded car for a night away. Her second part of Missy’s big birthday weekend is a road trip to the Cherry Springs State Park, one of the very best stargazing spots in the country. While not living in the city, the light pollution became an issue to the surrounding counties unquestionably, leaving the girls’ starry nights slightly less starry, and Maya heard from Shawn that it was one of the most beautiful places he'd ever been, so she jumps to take Missy there in celebration.

The conversation is light and fun, mostly Missy singing to the radio or feeding Maya snacks, and they end up crossing the borders into Pennsylvania just in time to find a room for the night, ending up choosing a motel just off the highway they're on. 

“Did you know that we’re already planning prom?” Maya asks, noticing the promposal written out in the fence of the overpass they were approaching, trying to play off how cute she thought it was. “Isn't that crazy? We just had homecoming, and people are already throwing hazards into highways for the next dance.” 

“Are you saying you wouldn't want a grand gesture?” Missy inquires, not fooled one bit by Maya’s  _ too cool for promposals _ act. She had caught her watching more than enough videos on Instagram for them last prom season to know that Maya adored them. 

“Of course not,” Maya shrugs, turning into the parking lot of the motel, “No one is gonna stop traffic for me, Missy. I don't even care about it, either. Who needs dumb, giant gestures?”

(Almost immediately after checking in, Missy mentions a Walgreens she saw down the road and steals the keys while Maya hops into the shower with the excuse of seeking a toothbrush because she'd forgotten hers. Maya buys it, saying she would leave her phone on the bathroom counter in case anything happens, and letting her leave without second thought, knowing nothing of the plan baking in Missy’s mind.)

xxxx

“Hey, babe?” Missy grins, opening the door to their room and peeking in, her eyes sparkling at the blonde clad in her pajamas, ringing out her hair with a towel. 

“Oh, hey, I found your toothbrush,” Maya tells her, pointing to where she'd unpacked it on the dresser. “It was with your toothpaste, dumbass.” 

“Shh, just come here,” Missy commands, quickly pulling on Maya’s arm and leading her out to the parking lot impatiently. She watches Maya’s reaction with her lip between her teeth, anxiously awaiting an answer to her question. 

Maya’s entire face goes red, her eyes trailing the letters of the cheap, plastic candles Missy had picked up that spelled out  _ Prom?  _ against the asphalt, a bundle of roses being picked up from the ground beside the word and held out by Missy. “You said you didn't want a grand gesture or stopped traffic, so,  _ of course,  _ I had to figure out how to give you just that. I mean, you went out of your way to do this whole stargazing trip for me when you really didn't have to, and, well, fuck, Maya, I like spending time with you, I guess, so I was just thinking that maybe you'd want to go to your prom. With me. As your date.” Her words are sheepishly delivered, flustered at the sight of Maya completely awestruck. “Oh, and I have a lame sign if you try to tell me no that you absolutely  _ can't  _ refuse!” 

She wanders to their car, tugging out a board that reads  _ You're the brightest star in my sky, will you be my shining date to prom?  _ with crappy doodles of planets all around it. Maya can't hold back her laughter. 

“I had to steal a campaign poster for a congressman for this,” Missy warns, flipping it to reveal the propaganda inked on the other side, “so if you say no, I could go to jail for  _ theft _ .” 

“What's keeping you from jail if I say yes?” Maya giggles, stepping to close the gap between them. 

“A gorgeous date to prom that an officer simply can't keep me from,” Missy replies cockily, leaning down to share a soft kiss before Maya jumps back. 

“Okay, but stay right there!” She places the roses into Missy’s arms before pulling out her phone and jogging far enough to catch it all on her screen. “Your mom would kill me if I didn't get a picture of this.” 

“So... that's a yes?” 

Maya rolls her eyes when the shutter of her camera echoes into the night. “Yeah, Bratford, it's a yes.”

xxxx

Maya posts the picture while Missy takes her own time in the bathroom preparing for bed, captioning it, ‘ _ Only my girlfriend would be lame enough to prompose to me on her birthday trip _ ,’ with a few emojis to satisfy their parents, knowing that they follow both of them on social media. 

She just so happens to apparently forget that all of her peers  _ also _ follow her on social media, meaning that her fake relationship with Missy rapidly branched from calling each other ‘babe’ at family dinners to people she didn't even know the numbers of texting her, trying to find out all of the scoop on her relationship with the  _ rival school _ ’s head cheerleader. 

It's the biggest news of the entire weekend, and she contemplates shutting off her entire phone until it starts to vibrate, the photo and caller ID making her stomach churn. 

“Hey, Lucas,” she answer meekly, her lip quivering at his tone. 

“How long?” 

It occurs to her that she hasn't thought of him  _ once  _ in the past few weeks on her own, and the guilt travels from her core to form tears in her eyes. “Please... don't do this.”

“How long, Maya?” he demands, his voice cold and distant. “God, did you  _ ever _ love me?” 

“Of course, I did, Lucas, don't talk like that-”

“How long has it been her? Was it when you promised to wait for me? Was it when I left? Fuck, was it before I even left?” 

“ _ Lucas…” _

“You're unbelievable!” he snaps, her body wincing at his volume. “I was coming back for you. You were letting me come back for you. I told you I wasn't asking you to wait, and you  _ insisted  _ that you do, promising yourself to me like I mean something to you?” 

Tears spill down her cheeks, her hands starting to shake from her impending sobs. “You  _ do _ mean something to me.” 

“Do you love her?”

“Lucas,  _ stop _ .” 

“Tell me the truth, Maya. Don't you dare fucking lie to me anymore.” 

Missy opens the bathroom door, completely unaware of Maya’s state until she hears a broken voice. “I… I don't know.” 

The line goes dead, and Missy is wiping away her tears before she even registers it. “What's wrong?”

“Lucas wants nothing to do with me anymore,” Maya laughs bitterly, staggering over her voice when Missy leans down and connects their lips. 

“That's his loss, okay?” Missy warns, softly kissing her again and again until her tears are nonexistent, the best way she knows to rid of them. “This is our weekend,” she says firmly, tucking a strand of Maya’s hair behind her ear and shuffling to get their bodies beneath the blanket. “We're going to go to Cherry whatever tomorrow, and we can look at the stars, and then we’ll find another motel to stay in so that we can get some type of sleep before we drive home, and it's only going to be us.” 

“Me and you?” Maya yawns, her head tucking under Missy’s chin when they get settled, exhausted from the emotional toll of their night. She lets her eyes fall shut when Missy’s fingers caress her cheek, her lips sighing sadly. 

“Me and you.” 

xxxx

The stars are gorgeous, but they're nothing compared to Missy’s eyes, and Maya tells her that when they’re in bed the next night, fresh out of the forest where they devoured a container of mini cupcakes and Maya sang  _ Happy Birthday _ very excitedly. It's hushed, almost a prayer when she insists how beautiful the girl posing as her girlfriend is, and it makes head spin when their hands begin to wander beneath the boundary of clothes. 

She's wary, incredibly wary, and considering the circumstances of the last time they had sex in a rented room, rightfully cautious with every move she makes. She languidly kisses from Missy’s lips to thighs, cherishing every inch of skin beneath her, and there's something hanging over them when she does this- an air surrounding them with the first swipe of her tongue- that informs them that this is different, this is special. 

Each calculated touch, each painfully dragged gasp, every agonizing rock of Missy’s hips; there's something new here, and how addictive Maya immediately finds it is absolutely terrifying. 

xxxx

She is almost eighteen and she learns the difference between love and infatuation when stealing glimpses of a beautiful girl, the sun casting its glow over her as it rises and the soothing lift and fall of her chest as she sleeps forming the metronome steadily beating in the background of the the song humming in Maya's heart. They’d had a late night, running around the parking lot to scoop up the remnants of Missy’s promposal after three cars had deformed it, but ultimately saving two plastic candles and a sign with a tire track through it. 

(She kisses her sleeping beauty awake, and tells her that she's doing just that. Missy cracks a line about her prince being a bit of an asshole.)

She stares at the roses drying out on the bedside table, the idea of their night together nearly impalpable when she recalls it: breathless whimpers, promises of the future, countless repetitions of their names crying out between that. She can't wait to tell Charlie about it. It's going to be absolute hell because that fucking idiot was right, and she did fall in love, but she's never been so damn glad for his relentless teasing. She wonders if he'd prefer a sleepover or a night out to discuss it, her hands folded over her stomach as she lays on her back and stares at the ceiling. 

“Maya…” Missy starts, twisting her torso closer to the opposite side of the bed, cuddling into the blonde’s chest with a soothing exhale, “...thanks.”

“For what?” Maya questions, body adjusting to form comfortably against Missy’s subconsciously. 

“For reminding me that I'm not alone, even when I think I am. For seeing my flaws and accepting them, accepting me. Just… thank you.” 

Maya’s eyes fall shut, a blissful blush rushing to her cheeks when she realizes just how purely jovial she truly is. She nods, just enough that Missy can feel it, and let's her teeth bear in a grin. 

She'd never felt the sense of being so whole before, not even with Lucas. Being with Missy is  _ nothing _ like what it was being with Lucas. He didn't see her as a broken girl, but Missy does. She acknowledges her fraction of a mother and lack of a father, and she reads while Maya paints instead of having the artist take time from her schedule away from expressing herself, and Missy understands when movie nights are special for Charlie and Maya to share alone, and after that night with Sam’s friend, Maya doesn't care where Missy stares in public because there's an unspoken vow that she belongs to  _ her _ , and no one will ever make her question that faith, and that's what being in love is. 

She has Missy’s entire childhood already carved into her soul, the passion of the other cheerleader’s entire existence provoking her to grow with the beauty she's known practically all her life, accepting every trait that gets picked up because she wants to constantly learn more about the amazing person Missy will become as they age, and  _ that's _ what being in love is.

The only problem she faces is that Missy is only her  _ temporary  _ and  _ fake  _ girlfriend, a flimsy title with an impending death swinging over them like lurking presence of Maleficent during the duration of Sleeping Beauty, and Maya wishes with all of her heart that Aurora would've never woken up at all. 


	3. kids in love

It's the littlest things that set her off, and, in this case, it's the smell of Missy’s perfume against her own pillow that does so. They'd been in such an oasis since returning from their weekend; constantly touching, kissing, laughing. It was all so surreal that Maya didn't have time for her mind to catch up to her heart, therefore didn't have time to have a meltdown over the fact that she was falling more and more in love with _Missy Fucking Bradford_ every second of every day-

Except for _now_ , when she conveniently finds the time, laying alone in her bedroom while Missy is at some party for someone’s birthday that she cheers with, (leaving Maya no choice but to try and sleep away the longing she has to text her to check up and make sure she's not too drunk,) and, boy, does Charlie have his work cut out for him with this one when she bursts into his room not even twenty minutes later.

“She's evil, Charlie! She's a _witch_ , and I want nothing to do with her!”

Maya just doesn't settle well with change, along with her issues comprehending emotions and social cues and probably the fact that she needs restrictions while out because she's a wreck when wasted, but whatever, she's a mess. It’s a list of thoroughly displayed flaws within her that Charlie Gardner has spent _years_ mastering a way to handle.

At this point, he practically fucking predicts it.

Maya has always been one to panic in new situations, and the fact that she's now in this sort-of-official-but-not-really-a-thing-slash-fake-relationship with Missy has thrown her off of her game. The poor girl can't help but jump to the most impulsive conclusion she can make to reverse everything rattling in her brain;

She hates Missy.

Maya _swears_ that she hates her with all of her being, that she hates her face and her hair and her clothes and her laugh and her smile and every single thing about her because that's how it has been since they were preschoolers and that's how it is going to stay if it's the only thing she can help.

“Maya, you don't hate her,” Charlie says unconvinced, not even taking a second glance her way to observe the manic episode occurring.

“I do! I hate her more than I've ever hated anyone, and this is all because we’ve been doing that fake dating thing,” she rationalizes. “It's because we started sleeping together, and now we’re fake dating, and my feelings aren't real, so I'm stopping them.”

“You're _stopping them_?” Charlie chuckles, rolling his eyes at the plan.

“Yes, Charles, I am stopping them at once. From this moment forward, I'm not going to be in love with Missy. It's not going to happen.”

xxxx

It definitely happens, not even three hours after she leaves Charlie’s.

Fuck, not even _two._

Missy is sliding through her window only seventy-six minutes after she's made it home herself, and-much to Maya’s frustration- is drenched from head to toe with water, carelessly peeling her soaked clothing from her skin before she even greets the blonde.

“Sorry, I was freezing my ass off,” Missy says as she slips on one of Maya’s larger hoodies, one she's almost ninety percent sure is Charlie’s, and shimmies out of her underwear. “They ended up doing some stupid water balloon thing that I wasn't into, so they sprayed me with the running hose as punishment. I left, but I didn't drive, and you were a quicker walk, so I just kinda assumed…” she trails, knotting her hair into a sloppy bun after double checking that she's only wearing dry clothes. She shivers through a yawn and climbs her way beside Maya in bed, having no issue tucking under the blankets as if she had been there all night.

“I..uh,” Maya struggles out, still a little flustered at the immediate sight of bare skin. “You know you're gonna end up getting sick, so don't get too close.”

Missy laughs, sniffling her red nose and rolling her eyes. “I'm cold, not deadly,” she snorts, batting her eyelashes with a tiny pout. “Please cuddle me, babe? I spent the entire night missing you, and now I'm all cold… it's awful. Make me feel better.”

And Maya isn't going to, she swears she isn't, because she's _not_ in love with Missy and she's _not_ submitting to a witch and she hates her-

Then Missy pouts in just the right way and Maya _has_ to kiss it better, she doesn't have a choice, and by the time her mind catches up to her heart, clothes are being tossed aside and moans are vibrating off the walls and fuck.

All Maya can think is, _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

xxxx

“Okay, but let's try to keep our knees _tucked_ , Sarah, or you're going to end up hurt,” Maya calls as she critiques the minor stunts for their upcoming pep rally.

“Lookin’ hot, Yindra, if I wasn't already dating an enemy then _damn_ ,” Missy flirts, walking up to Maya after driving over from her own school. She gets a wince in response, her eyebrows furrowing at the negative action.

Maya had been doing her best to avoid the topic of Missy with her squad, the fact that she is now openly with the rival head cheerleader in their town being danced around until said girl makes an unexpected appearance. “What're you doing here?” she questions under her breath as Missy walks behind her, tucking her head onto Maya’s shoulder and wrapping her arms tightly around the smaller girl’s waist. She takes a moment to appreciate the fact that her social rank was currently saving her ass in their school, considering when Alina had went on a single date with a football player that Missy cheered in favor of, she'd been shunned by their entire class of juniors for almost a month.

“I wanted to scope out the competition,” Missy teases, her lips finding Maya’s neck easily with her blonde hair tied in the air. “Also, you took those shorts from me yesterday, so I knew you'd be wearing them, and your ass looks _amazing_.”

Maya bites her bottom lip when she feels Missy’s hand wander into her back pocket possessively, her cheeks burning enough for Jade to point it out.

“Are you _blushing_ , Hart?” she cackles from a few feet away with raised brows.

“Pfft, no,” Maya scoffs, jerking her body from Missy’s only to be pulled right back.

“Oh, am I embarrassing you?” Missy grins, turning to Jade. “If you think she's blushing now, you should’ve seen her face when I found out she’s a total-”

Maya’s eyes go wide, spinning and pressing her lips to Missy’s to avoid any more conversing. “You say another fucking word and you will never get laid again,” she says firmly, poking at her chest.

Missy’s hands fly up in defense. “Okay, okay, no need to get hostile.” She releases Maya, pecking her cheek before spinning around. “Bye, babe, see you at dinner! Mom’s making your favorite.”

“ _Goodbye_ , Missy.” Maya rolls her eyes with a chuckle, shaking her head before she notices her peers’ shit-eating smiles.

“ _Dinner_?” Sarah coos, a few of the other girls smirking in addition. “Could you be any more smitten?”

“Shut up,” Maya glares, her expression turning cold and defensive, “or you will have more to worry about than just tucking your knees.”

“Feisty,” Sarah giggles in response, “I can see why Bradford likes you so much.”

“Yeah, okay,” Maya declares, “three laps. Anyone with another word about my girlfriend can start a set of suicides, are we clear?”

She gets an array of nods in response as Sarah bolts towards the track, and she tries to ignore to the butterflies in her stomach that she gets from calling Missy the ‘g word’ in front of her friends.

xxxx

She gets invited to some party by a football player, and all she hears is free booze and free food, so she accepts the invitation as his plus one and the offer of his ride.

“No,” Missy says simply, her hands clasped around Maya’s wrists to keep them at her sides as soon as she makes it into her bedroom, only twenty minutes before the blonde is scheduled to be out the door.

“No?” Maya asks, her cheeks flushed a soft pink under Missy’s dark look.

“No.” She firmly repeats it, glaring slightly before examining Maya’s outfit. One of her hands ease from the end of the smaller girl’s arm, finding the hem of the shortest skirt she’d ever seen Maya in and tugging it a little. “You're not going on a date with him.”

“You can't tell me what I can or can't do,” Maya argues in a small voice, not even bringing up that it isn't even really a date. Her breath hitches when Missy’s fingertips begin to circle her upper thigh.

“You see, I was doing some thinking…” Missy starts, “and I realized something.” Her touch slips beneath the cotton of Maya’s underwear before she even gets out her entire sentence, grinning coyly at the sharp gasp she hears in response. “You can't date anyone until we’re through, _babe_ ,” she taunts, “and, last I checked, we're better than ever, so _no_.”

And it clicks then exactly what this is, exactly what is going on. She'd done it only a few months ago when Izzy dragged Missy bowling with Sam’s friend, even used the same phrasing.

Missy is _jealous_.

“It was bothering me at first, y’know?” she admits tucking her free hand below Maya’s knee to drag her leg up around her waist. “I couldn't figure out why it was bothering me so much, and then I realized what you were doing. You were planning on going out with a teenage boy, and I knew _exactly_ what a teenage boy would want to do to you after seeing you in an outfit as provocative as I was sure you would be dressed in. I knew exactly what he would imagine and keep on his mind the entire night.” She chuckles darkly at the rise and fall of Maya’s chest, quiet moans being suppressed as she bites her lip while Missy speaks into her ear. “And no one else gets to do these things to you. Isn't that right? You're only this good for me, aren't you, Maya?”

And she knows she's both very figuratively and literally fucked when Missy’s fingertips freeze, leaving her on the brink of fucking _begging_ , nodding vigorously to show that she's complying.

God, she's never going to fucking hear the end of this from Charlie.

xxxx

“So, how's pushing your undying love down your throat going?”

“Charlie, if you don't fucking close your mouth, I'll rip your lips off.”

“ _Ugh_ , I love it when you talk dirty to me.”

xxxx

When they're alone, Maya decides, there isn't a reason to be so lovey dovey, and so she tries to stay platonic with her in private.

(As platonic as you can really be when you spend most of your alone time fucking, but still.)

There's this shift that Maya makes that has her talking a little less, lying a little farther away, keeping her hands ever so slightly more to herself, only using pet names in the presence of others. It's subtle, she's making it subtle, and Missy doesn't bring it up so it is working, she assumes.

She's totally got this.

xxxx

“So, Maya, how is prom planning coming along?” Cassie asks, passing along the dish of mashed potatoes to Katy while they're sitting at the table.

“Great, actually,” Maya grins enthusiastically. “We’ve confirmed the planetarium as the venue, we’re having it on the nicest night predicted in all of May, campaigns are going phenomenally, and everyone working on it is actually getting along. I think it'll be the school's best prom of all time.”

She surprisingly has been finding herself beyond excited about her final dance, the head of the committee to plan it and her dress already tucked into the back of her closet. She only has a little over a month until the big night, barely any time at all to get all her final details right, but she's trying.

“The stuff that I've seen has been amazing,” Missy nods proudly from her seat.

“And what about your prom?” Katy questions, shifting the attention to Missy’s school.

“Oh, well, I'm not going,” the brunette shrugs, seemingly careless. “Like she said, nicest night and all, meaning my school booked the aquarium for the same time on the same day. I don't mind, though.”

“What?” Maya says softly, unaware of Missy’s conflicting event for her own class. “Why didn't you tell me that you're going to be missing your prom?”

“Because,” Missy starts, as if it's the obvious reaction, “you would've tried to make me miss out on you taking the crown, and I already agreed to be your date.”

“Missy, you’ve dreamt about prom since freshman year.”

“Yes, Maya, _a_ prom with the _perfect date_. Which part of that is exclusive to Abigail Adams North?”

“You're _not_ missing out on your prom.”

“You don't control me.”

“Ooh,” Cassie sings playfully, nudging Katy with her elbow. “Trouble in paradise.”

xxxx

Maya stops sleeping over, and Missy can't believe how much she can crave one person so badly.

(Maya can't believe it, either, and she really wants this to be the right thing to do.)

xxxx

Joshua Matthews asks her out. He's Shawn’s best friend’s little brother, and they’d met during the tiny barbecue Katy had hosted the other weekend for the engagement when Shawn’s family stopped by, excluding his goddaughter that apparently was volunteering during those hours. He's funny and he's cute and they exchanged numbers within an hour of knowing one another, so it makes sense to accept his offer. It's not for another month until he gets back from his studying abroad (he left for Italy only two days ago), but she still says yes because she does _not_ love Missy and she's curious enough to see his pictures from his European adventure in person over dinner.

She doesn't tell anyone besides Charlie, and it's her first _official_ date since before Lucas left, so she hopes and she hopes and she hopes that things will be alright.

xxxx

“I like that one!” Maya grins, pointing to the most embarrassing tux she could find in the entire bridal shop they stood in.

“Penny, that is literally a suit from the eighties. I am not marrying your mother in that,” Shawn glares, shaking his head at the rejects corner of formal wear.

“Don't worry, Shawnie, I got ya covered,” Charlie brags, bumping Maya with his hip to show that he'd actually been shopping around for a proper outfit. He hands Shawn a coat that is in the middle of their price point, leaving room for altering and a fresh bow tie like they'd been talking about on the ride over. “I would never let you marry my other ma in a powder blue blazer.”

“Stop trying to play favorites, Charles. They already said that Shawn’s godson could be the ring bearer,” Maya groans exasperatedly. “You're just in the wedding party, same as me. I'd be maid of honor if Sandy wasn't around.”

It had been a game the teenagers had been going back and forth with, attempting to eliminate their competition to rise in the ranks of Katy and Shawn’s ceremony. They'd always assumed that when Maya’s mom remarried, they'd have bigger roles, and the reality check that they were past the point of throwing petals or transporting the bands was hitting them pretty harshly.

“Look, guys, if Auggie and Ava cancel then that aisle is yours, okay?” Shawn chuckles, pulling a white dress shirt off the racks and examining the price tag. “They asked first, and fair is fair.”

“ _They asked first_ ,” Maya grumbles, passing Shawn the hideous tuxedo to try on for fun with a bitter look.

“ _Fair is fair_ ,” Charlie glares, snatching back the perfect selection he’d grabbed.

Shawn rolls his eyes in response, a smile on his lips, “God, what am I marrying into?”

xxxx

When Missy gets sick, Maya reads her _Winnie-the-Pooh_ in all sorts of voices to keep her spirits high, which is a tradition she sticks to despite her plan to distance herself from the brunette.

“ _He climbed and he climbed and he climbed, and as he climbed he sang a little song to himself_ ,” Maya recites, “ _It went like this: Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey?”_

“ _Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!_ ” Missy sings weakly when Maya pauses for her part, ending up in another coughing fit before she can even hear the next line.

“Oh, babe,” Maya frowns, her hand running along Missy’s burning cheek before closing the book, “you need more cough drops, don't you?” She rises to gather her wallet so she can run to the convenience store around the corner to grab some, but Missy stops her.

“No,” Missy wheezes out, still trying to steady her lungs, “I don't wanna be alone, and my mom is still at the store buying stuff for dinner.” Her hands reach out, opening and closing at Maya’s figure as she pouts. “Don't leave me.”

And so she doesn't. She sits right back down and finds her page, resuming the story as if she hadn't moved in the first place.

“ _I wonder why he does? Then he climbed a little further…”_

xxxx

“You're gonna have to tell her that you're in love with her at some point, dumbass. You've been pushing yourself away from her for weeks.”

“Charlie, I'm _not_ in love with her. I am going on a date soon.”

“...Which you haven't even told her about. Why is that, Maya? What possible reasoning could you have for wanting to hide your date from Missy?”

“...Shut the fuck up, that's why.”

xxxx

Maya misses the way Missy’s voice rasps in just the right way at exactly 4:16 am, and so she calls her to hear it and for no other reason at all.

She lets it ring twice, and she hangs up as soon as the ringing stops because it wasn't a good idea, and she knows that now.

Missy says her name like it’s the only word she knows at such an hour, and she _knows_.

xxxx

“Are we good?” Missy asks her one afternoon, sitting cross legged on Maya’s bedroom floor and with her history notes scattered around her.

“Yeah, why wouldn't we be?” Maya scoffs from on top of her bed, sticking her nose farther into her science textbook.

“Because you've been avoiding me, Maya,” Missy deadpans, rolling her eyes at the failed attempt to skirt around the truth. “I've been trying to give you your space, but it's getting weird. You won't even let me do my homework on the bed with you anymore.”

“I just…” Maya mutters, internally groaning at the fact that the other girl can see right through her so well, “I have a date.”

“A date? With who?”

“Josh Matthews,” she answers honestly.

“Like Shawn’s kid brother? Isn’t that your like uncle-in-law?” Missy scoffs with wide eyes, her words bitterly delivered.

“They're not actually related. Their families are just close. He’s taking me to dinner when he gets back from Europe this Friday, and I'm very excited about it.” Maya avoids looking at Missy while speaking at all costs, which explains exactly why she misses the brunette packing up her things and moving towards the door.

“ _Oh_.” Missy lets out quietly before coming up with a bullshit excuse as to why she has to leave. She grabs the doorknob before hesitantly looking back. “Have fun on your date.”

Maya doesn't like the feeling that she gets in the pit of her stomach watching Missy solemnly walk out, and she still hopes and hopes and hopes that things will be alright.

xxxx

They act like a couple when they're with their parents or in public with their peers, but she dates Josh quietly after explaining the situation to him, and she punches him in the arm with a smile when he jokes about how he's fine with it as long as he gets to watch.

She thinks she could love him if she really, really tries.

xxxx

Charlie can see through her, and she simultaneously hates that and loves that most about him. It's annoying when she tries to play coy or bury herself in denial, but when it's late at night and she just fucked Josh in his dorm room at NYU, fighting not to say Missy’s name with her eyes shut tight, he can hold her while she cries without her having to explain a single thing.

It's a blessing and a curse, she thinks. 

xxxx

“Your dress is beautiful, mom,” Maya says softly, her fingers dancing along the crystals on the bodice of the wedding gown, hung to be minorly altered at the shop she'd been in not too long ago for Shawn.

“It's the one that I married your father in,” Katy smiles reminiscently, walking up behind her daughter and placing a hand on her back.

“Why would you wear the same dress?” Maya wonders, completely dumbfounded by the fact her mother would want to be reminded of such an asshole- _especially_ on her wedding day.

“Because when I bought this dress, I took it home to wear as I walked down the aisle and promised myself to the man I would love for the rest of my life,” she replies calmly. “And I did, and I will now again.”

“What are you talking about?” Maya can't wrap her mind around where the life lesson is trying to break free from in that sentence, but it's there. It's always there.

“I'm saying that sometimes you need to create new firsts, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes your heart needs a little reset, and that's okay. Don't let the past keep you from your future.”

“You sound like a fortune cookie,” Maya snorts, avoiding digging into her thoughts on firsts.

“I'm your mama, what more do you expect, babygirl?”

“Fair ‘nough.”

xxxx

“You're beautiful,” Josh grins to her, his arm draped around her shoulder as they walk through a tiny park, hidden in the heart of the city. She thinks it's nice that he doesn't live in their small town, making it easy to show a little more PDA when they're around his current home of the NYU campus.

“You're an idiot,” she retorts playfully, her hand finding his hanging from beside her head and interlacing their fingers while they stroll.

She swallows down the feeling deep in her core of uneasiness touching him, something like guilt rotting in her before a craving to be in her town, in her apartment, in her bed- but she ignores the craving of being with a certain cheerleader with a smile as bright as the shimmering reflection of the sun on the ocean on a scorching summer day.

She wonders if this is what it feels like to be homesick.

(She wonders if a person could be considered home.)

xxxx

“I think we should break up after the wedding,” Missy proposes on one of the rare occasions that they're left alone nowadays, her hands folded neatly on her lap and her lips pressed into a thin line.

“I, um,” Maya stutters, not exactly sure where it's coming from. “Is that what you want?”

“You have a boyfriend,” Missy states, clearing her throat when her voice cracks during her declaration. “It makes the most sense. They're getting married before we graduate, so we can tell them it's because we’re going to different schools and don't want to do distance. We can go to the wedding together, fight about our future, and be over it by the time your mom gets back from her honeymoon.”

Her heart sinks at how thought out this plan is, and she hopes Charlie will be there when she's crying tonight, too.

xxxx

She thinks about firsts when she's in bed alone, and she fidgets with her phone while she does so. It's off- it has to be so that she doesn't call Missy- but it's there as a reminder that her firsts aren't more than a call away.

Missy was her first kiss, her first time, her first love.

Lucas was her first crush, her first boyfriend, her second love.

Or was Missy her second?

Did she even love Lucas?

Nothing with him was ever as intense as her feelings for Missy, so what does that mean for her cowboy?

Maybe she should call him.

She turns her phone on and the wallpaper is her boyfriend tugging his beanie over her hair while she laughs. She’s not laughing as hard as Missy has made her, though, or even Lucas has. She's hardly laughing at all, if not chuckling quietly.

(Josh is late to the race, and she’s not even sure he has a shot at making it to the finish line.)

xxxx

“Oh god, can you believe I'm getting married in a month, babygirl?” Katy squeals, marking the final seating arrangements for the reception in her little planner using her very special pen with _bride-to-be_ printed up the side. It was a gift from Cassie, and they'd spent an entire night laughing at how tacky it is.

“I really can't,” Maya replies, fiddling with her pencil from across their kitchen table. She stares for a moment at her blank notebook and picks up her phone, curious to know if Charlie would send her over the math notes she's supposed to be taking.

“Next thing we know, it'll be you and Missy walking down the aisle and promising forever.”

The idea makes her heart skip a beat, an anxious laugh falling from her lips before she gathers her homework and stuffs it into her backpack because who is she kidding? “Yeah, next thing we know.”

xxxx

Ever since the first night hearing about Josh, Missy doesn’t spend much time with her that isn't required, and Maya doesn't know if that makes things easier or harder.

She misses the laugh she would only hear when they were secluded or the way Missy’s eyelashes fluttered when she was having an especially good dream, smiling during it and clinging to Maya like a child, or the time they'd share cuddling because they couldn't be in the same room without touching in some way, which usually resulted in sex which resulted in spooning and napping. She misses a lot of things, and at the center of all of them is Missy.

It's always Missy.

xxxx

“You miss her, M.”

“I know, but I can't just tell her that.”

“Why not?”

(She hates how Charlie always has to make her think.)

xxxx

“You don't touch me anymore,” Maya blurts out, a determined look gracing her face. She's standing in Missy’s room, their parents gossiping down the hall, and this is the only chance she has to get it out, so she does.

“What?” Missy inquires with a raised brow, seated on her bed with a book when Maya interrupts her.

“You don't touch me anymore,” she emphasizes, inching closer with a tired expression. “We don't laugh like we did. We don't sleep like we used to. You barely even talk to me anymore.”

“You wanted space for your new boyfrie-”

“Well, I don't want it anymore!” Maya snaps, Missy’s mouth sealing shut at her outburst. “I don't want space anymore.” She lowers onto the mattress, so close that she might as well be on Missy’s lap, and she pouts with wide, vulnerable eyes, “I miss you. I just… I want _you_ again, Missy.”

“Maya…” Missy warns, her eyes following the other girl’s lips as she starts to lean in. “Maya, you have a boyfriend. We can't do this.”

Maya swears that she answers on impulse because, “That's never stopped you before,” leaves her throat before she can register that she's even talking.

“Wow. Really fucking nice, Maya.”

And she's kicked out of the bedroom just as quick.

xxxx

“So, you told her that she's a homewrecker?”

“Er, no… not exactly..?”

“Except absolutely.”

“I mean- if you wanna interpret things that way…”

“Maya, you called her a homewrecker and now she's going to want nothing to do with you.”

“I know, Charlie. Fix it.”

“Um, I know a great church that you can go and pray at? It's always open, and the only one I can really seeing making any progress on this is Jesus Christ himself, so tell JC I say hi while you're there!”

xxxx

She wants to be on good terms before prom rolls around, so she invites Missy to a picnic at her favorite park with her favorite sandwiches (mixed berry preservatives with extra raspberries sliced and spread evenly throughout, which were impossible to find considering they're not in season, she might add), and she gets stood up. She sits for an entire hour in the fucking dirt, and Missy doesn't text her once to inform her that she's not coming.

That's not even her only attempt, either. She tries for the movies, for dinner at Missy’s favorite Italian place that Maya can't stand, even fucking game night with Charlie- she just wants to see Missy for something other than a fake ass dinner with their parents- but no.

She just waits, looking like an idiot, and she texts Missy back to back to back that if she's not coming, just tell her to spare her the embarrassment, but she never replies, and Maya decides that she's never winning someone back ever again because it fucking sucks.

xxxx

Charlie is useless, so she turns to Shawn. She makes sure to go into great detail when explaining everything on her couch to him, avoiding any miscommunications this time around.

“So, you told her that she's a homewrecker?”

“No!” Maya snaps. “Why does everyone keep saying that?!”

His hands fly up, eyes wide and fearful at the teenage angst episode unfolding before him. “I- uh, that's just- it's what you did, kid. I don't know what else to tell you.”

“Tell me how to fix it,” Maya pouts, slumping her shoulders and leaning her head against his bicep. “I just want to fix it.”

He inhales sharply, slowly maneuvering his arm to wrap it around her. “You're in a real pickle this time around, huh?”

“That's such a dad thing to say,” she groans, punching at his ribs without any actual force. “Stop being _lame_ and give me advice _._ ”

He laughs at her, pressing a kiss into her hair with a soft smile after being referred to as her father. “Well, if she's scared of being a homewrecker, then… don't give her a home to wreck?”

“Fuck, Patty, you're a genius!” Maya shrieks, her entire face lighting up as she jumps up from the couch and races to put on her shoes. “I need your car!”

“Uh… where are you going?” he questions, still pretty unsure of what was so brilliant that made her do a complete 360 in attitude.

“To break your nephew’s heart!” she beams, snatching his keys from the little hook beside their front door and making her way out without as much as a goodbye.

Shawn sighs to himself, still nestled into his favorite corner of the sofa. “I will _never_ understand what runs through that child’s head.”

xxxx

So, in fairness, the ending of her brief love affair with Joshua Matthews could've ended _better_. It actually plays out just like one of those scenes in the romantic comedies that Missy eats up, Maya thinks to herself.

She had arrived at his dorm to inform him of an important discussion, and he said he had something as well, so in hopes of it being the same thing (they should've really both wanted the separation in Maya’s opinion), they agree to simultaneously reveal what they need to share.

He tells her that he’s in love with her, and she tells him that she’s in love with Missy.

A nervous giggle escapes her, along with a hopeful, “Hey, same difference, eh? No hard feelings?” before he closes the door on her face.

She doesn't think she will be hearing from him for quite some time.

xxxx

“You broke up with Josh because you're going to confess your feelings for Missy, but not that you're in love with her, only that you want to sleep with her because you’re too big of a baby to admit that you've fallen insanely hard for your mortal enemy, so you're trying to pretend it's all physical?” Charlie asks, his features pinched in a sour expression as he struggles to make sense of what Maya is telling him.

“Well…” she frowns, not entirely satisfied with how true his interpretation is. “I made it so she's not a homewrecker anymore…?”

“Aha! So you _admit_ that you called her a homewrecker?”

“Meet me on your roof tomorrow before breakfast. I'm going to throw your body down twelve stories into an alley.”

“Ooh, what should I wear?”

“Business casual, dumbass.”

“It's a date,” he grins, blowing a kiss towards her retreating figure as she stomps out of his bedroom.

xxxx

For the record, the plan seemed absolutely brilliant when Maya was writing it in her journal.

She follows it word for word right up until part two because the whole ‘Part One: Kiss her’ thing heads south before she can even remember what comes next. Maya corners her in her bathroom after dinner the next week and kisses her with everything she has. It just so happens that instead of swooning, Missy smacks her so hard that her cheek practically glows and shoves Maya’s tiny body into her tub. Having heard Maya’s shriek, their parents lock them inside and refuse to let them out until they've worked through their conflict.

For the record again, Maya does admit that mentioning that she was single probably would've been a better part one, and so while Missy is nursing her bleeding bottom lip, swollen from Maya biting it in reflex to being hit, she struggles out of the tub with a possibly (almost definitely, she's ninety perfect sure) dislocated shoulder and properly informs her of that detail.

“What?” Missy glares, turning her attention from the mirror to the blonde.

“I broke up with Josh last week,” Maya says meekly, her hand rubbing her stinging face.

“Why would you do that?” scoffs Missy, rolling her eyes.

“Because he told me that he’s in love with me,” she answers quietly, almost a shy demeanor taking over her, “...and I told him that I'm in love with someone else.”

“...Oh.”

“Yeah.” Maya chuckles bitterly, sitting down on the edge of the tub with her eyes locked on her shoes. “ _Oh_.”

(Their parents open the door before Missy can properly respond, and Maya bolts out the door before her mom even gets out the sentence, “It's time for us to go.”.)

xxxx

“Are you and Missy alright?” Katy wonders, frowning at Maya’s slumped figure in her passenger seat.

“We’re just… going through some things,” Maya decides to reply, still focused on the passing sidewalk and homes instead of her mother’s gaze.

“I'm sure you guys will talk it out,” Katy hopes optimistically. “Why don't you call her when we get home? I'll take Shawn out to run some little errands before it gets too late, and then you can have some privacy.”

Maya mulls over it for a moment before ultimately agreeing, praying that somehow they will talk it out and that everything will finally be okay.

xxxx

They don't talk it out at all.

Maya dials Missy’s number, tells her that they _need_ to talk it out, and within ten minutes she's climbing in through Maya’s bedroom window, and she's kissing her.

Maya hadn't even registered the rattling of footsteps on the fire escape yet- fuck, her head doesn't even catch on until after they've made it onto her mattress and Missy pulls away to dispose of her top.

“Missy…Fuck, we...fuck,” Maya groans, running her hand through her hair and scooting away for some distance. “Missy, we need to talk about what happ-”

“Maya, you know that we can't,” Missy interrupts, climbing closer to the other girl. “It’s going to get messy, Maya, and we can't handle messy. Just… is Josh gone?”

Maya silently nods.

“Then it's you and me,” she says determinedly, “and that's the end of this discussion. All we need to know is that it's us now- _only_ us now- and we’ll be fine. No complications.”

Maya frowns, hating that she knows that Missy’s right. Pulling love into this would just complicate everything that they have and probably ruin it. She’d lose Missy in the process of trying to win her, and she could avoid the entire thing by just complying to the logic of letting them be them - no labels in privacy and fake girlfriends in public.

“No complications?” Maya repeats, easing her face closer to Missy’s smile.

“No complications,” the brunette promises, her hands wandering to Maya’s torso slowly when she finally moves close enough to connect their lips.

Maya isn't exactly sure how mindfully sound she is not discussing the possibility of true love in their relationship, but when she feels Missy moving her affection towards her neck and collarbone with one hand venturing beneath the waistline of her shorts, all doubts fly out the window and she tangles her fingers into dark hair because- mindfully sound or not- Missy knows exactly what to do in exactly the right places to bring her to bliss.

(They agree after Missy comes down from her high not much later that they're never going that long without each other ever again for as long as they live, and Maya can _definitely_ be mindfully sound with that.)

xxxx

“So, you and Missy made up,” Katy smiles the next morning, handing Maya a mug for her coffee before taking a sip of her own. “Her car is in the lot in the back. I moved it last night so she wouldn't get a ticket.”

“Yeah,” Maya nods, taking it gratefully. “She's still asleep. I figured that we don't have to leave for like another hour, so I'd let her rest. She has enough stuff here anyways to rummage something together for school. Did you call Sandy, too? I forgot to text her and Missy never remembers.”

“Mhm, she was just happy to hear that you guys are on good terms again.” Katy watches fondly as Maya finishes off her drink, then adding the opposite of what she likes to the empty cup to make Missy some caffeine to wake up to.

“Did you put her keys back on my dresser? She’s probably gonna try to bolt it out the window as soon as she realizes that I didn't wake her up early enough to take one of her ridiculous forty minute showers that-” Missy bumps into her shoulder as she walks into the kitchen, grasping the mug from Maya’s grip and taking a sip with a raised brow. “-that I find absolutely adorable,” Maya beams innocently, pecking the tip of Missy’s nose.

“Nice one, babe,” Missy snorts, wrapping an arm around Maya’s mother’s shoulder as a gesture of good morning. “Thanks for moving my car, Ma.”

“Stop calling my mom that, it's weird,” Maya bickers, not even noticing Katy slipping out of the room to avoid being caught in the middle of their banter.

“You call my mom _Sandy_ ,” Missy counters, rolling her eyes as she continues to down her drink.

“That's her _name_.”

“Her _name_ is Cassie! That's why her diner is called _Cassie’s_!”

“ _Blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah! I'm Missy, and I can never admit that I'm wrong_.”

“ _Blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah! I'm Maya, and I'm never getting laid again_.”

xxxx

She calls Sandy to tell her that Missy is being a brat right after breakfast, and Missy smacks the back of her head after she gets a stern talking to about being polite to our girlfriends.

She really hopes that she's going to get laid again in this lifetime.

xxxx

“You guys talked about it then?” Charlie asks hopefully, frowning when he notices Maya’s guilty demeanor.

“ _Well_ ….”

“You guys just fucked and didn't talk about anything, didn't you?”

“We talked about how we weren't gonna talk about it.”

“What the fuck am I going to do with you, Penelope?”

xxxx

“Can you believe that this could be my last time ever wearing this for the rest of my life?” Missy sighs dramatically, modeling the rise of her skirt when she twirls with a pout. “I'm going to miss it.”

“You and me both…” Maya mutters with a clenched jaw, her thighs pressed tightly together as she watches from her bed and grips the edge of the mattress until her knuckles turn white, and she's furious because she knows this game, she _knows_ that Missy is purposely teasing her because she thinks it's cute to rile her up, and she sort of wants to scream at that fact.

“It's tragic, babe.” Missy steps towards the other girl, making sure to sway her hips just enough to see teeth grind. “I just wish that there was a use for it now that we’re nearly graduates. A way to solidify it into our minds as a prominent milestone during our senior ye-”

She doesn't even finish her sentence because Maya jolts up and kisses her, disposing of the fucking thing as quickly and as carelessly as possible.

(She breaks a zipper and Missy makes her pay the fine for it after her coach had examined the skirt)

xxxx

Missy picks her up after an impromptu cheer practice for the upcoming senior week pep rally, and by picks her up, she sneaks onto the field while Maya isn't paying attention and she jumps on her back from behind and scares the living shit out of her.

“Hi, baby,” Missy giggles, craning her neck to peck Maya’s burning cheek.

“Oh my god, you're such an ass!” Maya yells, trying to ignore her squad’s collective laughter. She uses all her strength to disconnect Missy from her body and turning around to smack her shoulder.

Missy pouts at her innocently, batting her eyelashes to break Maya’s stern look. “You don't love my surprises?”

Maya rolls her eyes in response, chuckling about how ridiculous she is before hooking her index finger into a belt loop on the front of Missy’s jean shorts and tugging her into a soft kiss. “I'm still mad at you,” she whispers against the brunette’s lips.

Missy grins, pulling away and letting her hands roam around the hem of Maya’s tank top. “I have ways to fix that.”

Maya snorts, pushing her away and turning back to her friends with a smug smile. “Go wait in the car, you fucking idiot.”

“I love you more, beautiful!”

xxxx

“Is it cool if I bring Maddie to your mom’s wedding?”

“Dude, why are you asking this like two weeks before? Besides, she got an actual invitation before you did.”

“...okay, honestly, Maya, that is a little offensive.”

“Oh, Gardner, unbunch your panties. I'll tell your girlfriend that she can have a plus one.”

xxxx

Their parents make an entire debacle out of prom.

Maya wears a stunning dress, one that Shawn saved up three paychecks to afford; a deep red gown that fits her body like a second skin from her off the shoulder capped sleeves to the ground where the skirt just barely dances, tailored perfectly for her height. She has exactly eight golden accent pieces woven into her pinned curls, all matching the hue of the jewelry around her neck and both of her wrists, clutch, and the heels her mother passed down to her for good luck.

She’s even ready to go half an hour earlier than planned, right as Missy shows up after slipping into the blazer of the suit she’d bought to compliment Maya’s look, a maroon shirt hardly buttoned beneath it but peeking enough to show that they're a couple- and their moms eat the scene right up.

Missy has her eyes covered as Maya walks down the hall, anxiously fidgeting with the boxed corsage in her hand when Katy let's out a choked sob, crying about how beautiful her babygirl looks and the shuttering of Shawn’s camera drowning them out. Hell, her own mother even falters in stance when the door is opened, forgetting to remove her palms from Missy’s face at all and leading Maya to waltz up and do it herself.

“Do you think if I kissed you right now, they'd all pass out long enough for a quickie in the kitchen?” Maya flirts, her dimples indenting her cheeks and accompanying her radiating smile.

Missy can’t even make out a response, dipping down and capturing Maya’s lips without a second thought, completely mesmerized by how gorgeous she is. Sure, she’s seen the dress hanging in her closet and the necklace placed neatly on her dresser, but that did absolutely no justice to what her eyes were focused on now.

“Maya Penelope!” Katy gasps, smacking her arm and breaking their moment when she hears Maya mention sex.

“I'm _kidding_ ,” she laughs, interlacing her fingers with her date’s and slipping in a comment about how their quickie would occur on the sofa, if anywhere, just in time for Cassie to nudge Missy to remind her of the bundle of roses waiting to be placed on Maya’s wrist.

“I- uh, I got you one of these,” Missy stutters, still not exactly used to how blindingly beautiful Maya looks in her attire. She nervously fumbles the corsage out of its box, sliding it past Maya’s palm before linking their hands again.

“Not bad for a B-list cheerleader in this district,” the blonde compliments, pecking her cheek quickly before their parents are posing them for more photos.

xxxx

They end up at a bowling alley afterwards; Maya in her crown and sash giggling madly as she makes her third strike, Charlie and Sam pouting because her turns shouldn't count considering she's the only person with her bumpers up, Izzy pointing out that Charlie is just bitter that he fell behind after crossing the foul line so many times, and Maddie and Missy watching their group of misfits all argue over fucking bowling, devouring greasy nachos and sabotaging their other players with tiny shoves while wearing the most formal and expensive things in their wardrobes to date.

“Still want to wrap them up and ship them off?” Maddie chuckles as Maya lunges onto Charlie’s back during his attempt at a spare.

Missy lets her head rest on Maddie’s shoulder, sharing her laugh with their arms looped with one another. “And elope on an island far away from here?”

Maddie nods, clapping her hands when Charlie still makes out a decent score after Maya’s attack. “You and me, Bradford. We could travel the world.”

xxxx

Everything seems finally back to normal again, a certain sense of comfort in the air when the girls find themselves in a hotel room that Missy insists they need to get for the entire cliché prom experience.

“So,” Missy prompts, leading Maya towards the bed after making a show of inserting the key to the door, “was tonight everything you ever dreamed of?”

Maya yawns with a dopey grin, falling flat against the mattress in a grand gesture with her arms spread. “It was even _better_ ,” she admits, scooting over the slightest when Missy reaches her legs.

“Well, I mean, it's not done _yet_.”

Maya’s brows bunch, her elbows being used to prop herself up from laying on her back to cock her head in Missy’s direction. “What are you talking about?”

“We’re living out your sappy prom cliché,” Missy explains, casually strolling towards the tv stand where she grabs a small shoebox. She opens the lid to reveal the largest amount of rose petals she could steal from her mother’s garden without consequence, slowly beginning to sprinkle them on the mattress around Maya’s body.  “This is the part where I light a bunch of candles and take your virginity,” she shrugs, as if it's obvious.

“Missy, I'm not a virgin.”

“Hush, hush, hush!” she gasps quietly, bouncing to the bed to cover Maya’s mouth with her palm. “I know that, but this bed doesn't. It thinks it's a very special part in your journey to womanhood. I even gave it a pep talk to ensure that it wouldn't have any stains like the one that you _actually_ lost your v-card on.”

Maya rolls her eyes, pressing a kiss to the inside of Missy’s hand before pulling back, an effortless smile tugging on her lips at the fragments of flowers being spread around her. “You're such a dork.”

“You're the one sleeping with me,” Missy snorts. “What does that say about you?”

“That I have little to no standards.”

xxxx

The sappy, quote unquote, “ _love making”_ that is supposed to occur after prom lasts a total of four minutes and seventeen seconds, right up until Maya gets impatient and tugs on Missy’s jacket hard enough to pop a button, and then it turns into a competition of who can undress who faster.

(Missy won. Maya tries to argue that she cheated, but before she can get a sentence out there's a stream of curses leaving her lips that she wasn't even aware she knew, and she learns to pick her battles.)

xxxx

“Okay, but if you love her, and she loves you, then why aren't you an actual couple yet?”

“Charlie, we don't _know_ that she loves me.”

“ _We don't know that she loves you?_ Are you fucking kidding me? Get out.”

“Charlie, what? You-”

“Get out of my apartment right now.”

xxxx

“I got you something,” Missy smiles timidly, her hands hidden behind her back.

Maya stares questionably at her, unsure of the gift she could've mustered up when they'd spent the past week practically attached to one another.

“Well, I sort of got it for you. I've had it for a while, I just… Well, you'll get what I mean.” Maya’s eyes fall to Missy’s extended palm, resting inside it a piece of jewelry that shimmers against the light of the lamp beside Missy’s bed.

“Is that my charm bracelet?” Maya asks with wide eyes, her fingers reaching out to touch it as if it were in her head.

“Kind of?” Missy says anxiously. “It's the same base. It's from when we were kids, remember? The night that your dad was gone for good, you-”

“I had a fit and I threw it in the bathroom garbage,” Maya chuckles, finishing off what she thought was the end of the story.

“And I went and rescued it after you went home…” Missy reveals with a blush. “I.. um, well, I just remembered how much you loved it as a kid, and I didn't think it was fair of him to ruin it for you, so I stripped the links and started saving my allowance money.” She holds it up, letting it dangle with the additions shiny and new. “I would buy you a new one as soon as I had enough for it, and, even though it took me a while, I finally filled it up. There are twelve charms on there, all unique and new and as beautiful as you are- but if you don't like them, you can take them off. It's not a big deal.”

There are tears in Maya’s eyes when she takes a closer look, listening attentively as Missy explains what each one is for.

“A lot of them are handmade which is why they took forever, but that's alright because the regular ones just didn't capture you like I thought they should…” She trails off her sentence, obviously embarrassed by the intimacy thickening the air. “Um, well, the pom pom is obviously for cheer because you're one of the best cheerleaders I've ever met. I also got a pair of handcuffs that look just like Ms. Gardner’s that you used to steal, and there's a crayon because that's how we met. I got a milkshake one because that's how you cope, and a star one with your initial engraved into it so it's special because you're special. There's a bowling ball since that's our go-to date night destination. There's a music note for when you went through that phase that you only listened to music around me, and the dog piece from monopoly because that's your favorite one to play with. Charlie is the tombstone because you're always threatening to kill him and our moms are the chopsticks for all our Chinese takeout movie marathons we had growing up. I even put a little candle for the promposal that you pretended to hate.”

“But that's only eleven?” Maya questions, her head cocked a little while her eyes search for the final piece.

“Well, the twelfth one is a map of the subway system for that day you took me to the city. It was my birthday trip, remember? And you painted on me and got us lost, and I just remember thinking to myself how happy we were and how I wished we could always be in that moment. Then we went to that coffee shop and we kissed and it was like nothing we'd ever done before, and… well, it's for that day. It's to remind you of how sweet you are and how thoughtful. I hoped it would help you see yourself the way that I do when I ordered it.” All of Missy’s words are delivered tenderly, carefully watching Maya’s features for a reaction. “If you don't like it, I can keep it here. I just remembered how fond of it you were, and I thought you might still want it if it got a makeover, so I got it resized a little bit so that you could wear it to the wedding… You were frantic because you couldn't find any jewelry to match and the rehearsal is in like three days. There would be more charms, but I didn't want you to be too stressed.”

“No, no, no.” Maya shakes her head, grasping her gift and holding it in a way to show Missy that she'd like her to put it on for her. “I adore it. I seriously do. I'm practically speechless, Missy.” The brunette forms a radiant grin, beaming as she clasps the bracelet around Maya’s wrist and it's a perfect fit. “You're… incredible.”

“Oh, no, it was nothing,” Missy insists, swatting her hand humbly. “I just didn't want him to ruin it for you. I'm sorry it took so long, I wanted to make sure that I didn't get any charms like the ones he'd bought yo-”

Maya is making it a habit to cut off Missy’s sentences by kissing her lately, but she hasn't gotten any complaints.

xxxx

“You need to tell her, Maya,” Charlie frowns, tossing the cardigan from her closet in her direction as they get ready for Shawn and Katy’s rehearsal dinner.

“I don't need to tell nobody nothin’.”

“Are you kidding me? Get out.”

“Charlie, this is _my_ apartment. You can't-”

“ _Get out_.”

“Yeesh.”

xxxx

“Have you ever been to a wedding, Maya?”  Missy wonders aloud, curiously glancing the blonde's way as the preparations for dinner begin.

“No.”

“Me either, I hope it's not awful. If it's bad can we steal some food and hide under a table like we did at my dad’s funeral?”

“Yeah, of course we can, babe.”

xxxx

Her mother pulls her aside after her and Shawn practice their ‘ _I do’s,_ and she makes Maya promise to her that she's not going to shy away from love.

“I know you,” Katy says softly, “and I know how you get when you really feel something. You're happy with Missy, just like I am with Shawn, and I can see when you start pushing from her. She loves you, babygirl.”

Maya looks to the ground silently, her lips pressed into a thin line. “Did Charlie hire you to say all of this?”

Katy chuckles, kissing the center of Maya’s forehead and wrapping her arms around her for a hug. “No, sweetheart. We just both want you happy.”

“It still sounds like he hired you.”

xxxx

Maya’s not exactly sure _why_ she thought that stealing two bottles of champagne and half the supply of whisky was a good idea when she convinced Charlie to help her go through with it, but she really did in the moment and that ends with her and Missy getting drunk off of their asses on Maya’s bedroom floor.

“I still don't see why moms wouldn't let us go to the bachelorette party,” Missy whines dramatically.

Maya groans, taking another swig from her glass. She knows exactly why her mom forced them into a confined space, all alone with no interruptions. She wants Maya to _stupidly talk_ about _stupid feelings_ for _stupid Missy_.

 _“Stupid love_ ,” she mumbles to herself bitterly, her expression pinching when she takes another sip.

“You're so pretty,” Missy slurs, crawling across the carpet towards the blonde. “Do you think I'm pretty, Maya?”

Maya clams up, getting uneasy with how close Missy is getting to her. “Of course, I think you're pretty,” she replies honestly, hoping that she can keep her heart in line for the night even with the room spinning.

“Then why do you look so grumpy?” Missy wonders, tapping the tip of Maya’s nose with her pointer finger and crawling onto her lap, straddling her effortlessly.

Maya gulps, her head pounding thinking of her mom and Charlie and everything they'd want her to admit with the girl she loves in her arms. “Nothing. Charles is just really annoying.”

“You don't love Charlie anymore?” Missy cocks her head to the side, the scent of champagne on her breath as she tries to investigate Maya’s obvious crisis.

“I do,” Maya sighs. “He just doesn't understand that he doesn't know everything he thinks he does.”

“What does he think he knows?”

“Missy, can we just not talk about it?”

“But what does he think he knows?” she persists.

“Nothing!”

“What is it?”

“That I'm in love with you! He won't shut up about how I need to fucking tell you how much I love you, and I just can't do that!” Maya frustratedly yelps, her eyes going wide as soon as she realizes exactly what she had said.

God, she is _not_ drunk enough for this.

“Oh,” Missy blinks, still situated firmly against Maya. “So you're not in love with me?”

“That's not what I'm saying,” Maya argues, stretching out her arm to reach for the scotch.

“No,” Missy scolds, pulling her limb back. “What are you saying?” She leans in close, a hand on each of Maya’s cheeks, tenderly holding her face to keep eye contact.

“I… Missy, I…” Maya stutters, wondering how she can see the green flecks in Missy’s eyes when everything else in her room seems so blurry. “I just…”

“You don't have to be scared to talk to me, Maya,” Missy whispers, brushing her thumb across a few freckles softly. “Just talk to me.”

“I...I had a playlist in the seventh grade because I couldn't see you in a bikini without wanting to die. I would hang around Lucas to make you jealous, and nothing that I did with him is even in the same realm of making me feel how you do, and when I thought that our fake dating was getting too real, I said I'd go out with Josh so that it couldn't, and I know that it was wrong, but I had this moment at the end of your birthday trip where I had this epiphany that I couldn't see myself without you, and I panicked, and it sounds way too cliché and predictable, but I've never felt like this about anyone else on this planet, and, fuck, I love you so much.

I love you and your smart mouth and how your nose turns all red and cute when you're cold and that our families are basically shared and I am so fucking head over heels for you and your annoying piece of shit attitude that you have all the time that it makes me nauseous if I think about it too much, and I'm so fucking terrified that you don't love me, too, and so I was gonna just keep it a secret because you wanted to breakup tomorrow,” she gets out as best she can with a single breath, her chest rising and falling heavily when Missy’s laughter rings in her ears. “Are you… Are you fucking laughing at me right now?”

“No?” Missy giggles, her hands falling from Maya’s face and interlocking behind her neck. “Sort of. Maybe. Yeah, actually. It's just that for such a smart girl, you're kinda dim sometimes.”

“What did you just-”

“I've had a crush on you since we were like fucking six, Maya. Why did you think I always messed with you so much?”

“Because you were evil?” Maya grumbles, a hint of a glare forming in her eyes.

“Because our parents made us spend more time together when we fought,” Missy confides confidently. “Izzy used to give me so much shit for how much I liked you, it was so annoying. I would throw things at her.”

Maya finally breaks into a smile, snickering at the thought. “I would threaten to rip off Charlie’s limbs. He kicked me out when I told him you probably didn't love me back.”

“Cute,” Missy chuckles, dipping down to steal a small kiss, one tiny enough that if she had blinked, she would've missed it. “Say it again,” the brunette prompts, holding their eye contact when she leans back.

“Are you going to say it back?” Maya asks breathlessly, biting her bottom lip when Missy nods gleefully. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Missy promises, her eyes the brightest Maya had ever seen them.

Maya beams, radiating genuine giddiness with the breath she lets out, one that seemed to be trapped in her lungs for years. “Oh god, please don't be too drunk to remember this in the morning. I don't think I can do this twice.”

“Trust me, I won't forget this,” Missy swears, her head falling to Maya’s shoulder and her eyes falling shut. “I'm never going to forget this.”

xxxx

“She loves me back, Charlie. Why didn't you make me do this sooner?! She loves me so much and you just let me mope!”

“You're fucking kidding me, right?”

xxxx

The ceremony is beautiful, and most of the guests cried.

(That's how Sandy says she knows it was a success.)

The wedding party is small: Shawn’s goddaughter, Riley, walks down the aisle first with Cory’s father on her arm, Josh trailing her accompanying his own mother because they're as close to family as family gets for the groom. After them, Shawn’s brother and Charlie’s mom before Missy and Shawn's nephew, Auggie, find their way, the elementary schooler carrying the rings with the hand that isn't clasped to the older girl’s like a gentleman. The music slows as Shawn’s friend, Cory, and Missy’s mom ease slowly towards their destination as the best man and maid of honor, leading to their flower girl sprinkling petals all around everyone’s feet with a contagious grin.

And finally, Katy walks down the aisle with Charlie and Maya on each side of her, (a role that they'd all agreed to be fit for them to fulfill since they were the ones _technically_ giving her away) and Shawn actually chokes from the lump in his throat that forms at how beautiful his bride truly looks, a sentence regarding angels tumbling from his mouth between wheezes.

It's lovely and it’s magical and it’s everything that her mother has ever dreamed of and it makes Maya think about her future.

xxxx

Maya walks into the reception before her parents do, fingers interlaced with Missy’s, and she doesn't think she's ever seen a room so full of life in all her years.

The younger guests are all freely dancing to some beat that the band is playing to pass time, and the tables around the stage and open floor are filled with older relatives and family friends. She can see Shawn’s niece dancing wildly, and she even catches a glimpse of Josh with his new girlfriend - a blonde closer to his age that he's staring at like she's his sun and his moon all at once.

It's so gorgeous that Maya almost wishes that she could paint it.

“This isn't awful at all,” Missy speaks in amazement, grabbing Maya’s hand.

“Yeah,” she agrees, her eyes landing on her mother and now father, entering through double doors as the leader of the band announces their arrival. _You and I_ softly begins, and Maya chuckles as Missy pulls her towards the stage.

Of course, her mom had to choose the cheesiest Michael Bublé cover to play during her first dance.

“I love you,” Missy murmurs into her ear happily, her arms wrapped tight around Maya’s waist from behind and her head resting on the blonde’s shoulder.

The statement whirls in Maya’s mind for a moment, pairing with the sight of Shawn whispering sweet words to her mother in the center of the room. “I think we could do that one day,” she declares, nodding towards the radiant couple.

“You want to marry me?” Missy smugly replies, a smirk on her lips. “You haven't even asked me to be your girlfriend yet, and you're making wedding plans. Where's the u-haul?”

“Shut up,” Maya bites, smacking her hand against one of the arms holding her. “If you make this gross, I'm taking it back. I said _one day_.”

“ _You wanna marry me. You wanna marry me_ ,” her date chants childishly, snickering when Maya struggles to break free of her grip.

“You're so fucking annoying. I knew there would never be a time that _Bratford_ isn't fitting.”

“Oh hush,” Missy continues to tease, showering small kisses along the side of Maya’s face. “I have a question for you.”

“I swear to god, Missy, if you ask me to marry you right now I am going to hit you somewhere in the face,” the tiny blonde threatens, spinning in the other girl’s arms to face her with a glare.

“I _was_ going to ask you to be my girlfriend- my _actual_ girlfriend- but if you're just gonna be mean then I'm not sure I want you to be that at all.” There's no actual warning in her voice considering they both know exactly what the answer is going to be.

“Eh, I'll think about it,” Maya jokes, stealing a sweet kiss while so close to her love.

They disconnect when Shawn calls her over to share a dance with him. He tells her that she'll have all of her life to make out with Missy but only a few hours before his old bones will be worn out from boogieing, and so Maya tells him to stop being _such a dad_ , anxious to reveal that her relationship is finally taking off and he had interrupted said moment with her _official_ girlfriend.

And it ends like this: a blonde, a brunette, and the wedding of the century happening around them after years of pining, boyfriends, and excruciatingly annoying best friends nagging them that they're meant to be. But, she supposes, all great romances have some sort of angsty origin story to explain the reasoning as to why they're so perfect for one another- what would make her and Missy’s any different?

 


End file.
